17 Sep 09 11:16 am
Considering deleting my GG
I've been on Gonegothic for some time, since way back in middle school.
This place was my salvation away from the judgemental pricks that prowled the school.
I remember back to times when everyone knew everybody on this site.
And for the most part everybody got along (yeah there was some arguments but they were snuffed fairly fast)
There use to be a time where everyone on my friends list I would talk to, or they would talk to me, now I find myself signining in to talk to a couple of those people... Like everyones lost among the many fakes and bitching at each other.
I remember there use to be a time where even I felt comfortable enough to post on the forums.
But now days I have noticed more and more trolls popping up or people being highly immature and treating each other like crap without a thought for the repercussions of their actions, and it makes me turn away from the idea of posting.
I'm annoyed gonegothic, I really am. This place use to be so incredible, everyone use to be so close, now its getting harder and harder to tell whos fake and whos safe to talk too because everyone seems to have a complex about whos what. get the fuck over yourselfs.
I dont want GG to end up like VF where everyone steps on each other in an attempt to get to the top, and the site get flooded with so many fakes that the admins cant keep up any more. Where are all the golden old-bees that use to come here so often, back from right in the begining, this is hardly a place you can just 'grow out of' and dont even start with the 'the have a life and a job' bullshit because I have a life too, does not stop me from spending time on here.
All I'm saying is, its all getting out of hand and I dont really know what I can do to help it, sort of point these things out....
09 Apr 08 7:31 am
Whats happening Gonegothic?!
Or has gonegothic suddenly had an up rise in the amount of people that think they can be arrogant assholes and get away with it?
Its not just the normal users either, there has been times where some of the admins have been pretty harsh towards some of the users, here I was thinking the forums had been cleaned up of that sort of thing and the argueing and abuse stayed in the fight club area. It would seem that there has been an influx of situations where people have posted legitimate things and have been flammed to hell for it.
I have been here since 05. And I know for a fact, the forums NEVER use to be like that, and its gradually getting worse, and because some of the admins are doing it the other users think that its OKAY to flame and be horrible to the others. When it clearly states in the ToS what can and cant be.
This may sound like a bit of a bitch, but really when you think about it, how bad are things going to get before something gets done about it. Are we going to end up like vampirefreaks, flameing the hell out of each other treating each other like crap, only talking to those who we deem worthy of our time. I came away from vampirefreaks because this site was different, there was no abuse and when there was abuse, the admins were quick to put and end to it. What the hell is happening!!!
I know I'm just one little voice in the vast majority and very rapidly growing community of gonegothic, but surely I'm not the only one who has noticed the gradual and not so great change that had started to errupt here and there.
I know I am most likely going to get flammed for this, and a lot of people are most likely going to dissagree or think that I am just bitching. But I have been on this site long enough to know what it has been like in the past, and long enough to see the changes that are takeing place. And not nessaserrly for the greater good.
There is some admins/webmasters/admin-like-users who are busting their asses to keep this place as great as it has always been, but with the amount of abuse going on, and the fact that some of the admins are not stopping the crap when they should, its making things a little off.
Either way. I just wanted to say my peice. Agree, dissagree, I could not give a crap. Its just something I have noticed.
19 Mar 08 12:51 pm
My god. I have so many idea's in my head for what I want to do to my profile and it feels like everything I try and do with what little I know seems to blow up in my face.
I'm most likely a little to tired. I've been going at it hard for the past two days and last night I gave it such a go I found myself working on it untill 1.43am the next morning. I have the ideas but the lack of skill is what is holding me back. I really hope when I go to web design school that is all going to change. It frustrates me to no end that I get these ideas and not know how to go about doing it. I have the codes that I have saved or found, I can edit them to kinda fit but at the same time it does not have a smooth look to it, which does my head in.
One thing I am really missing is the OLD PROFILE GENERATOR! You could edit EVERYTHING in your profile to suite, from colors to pictures, to position. I have to be honest, I do find the new one a bit lacking, but I know in time, given time it will inprove. But right now I think I am going to go and put my head to sleep before I see more HTML and my head explodes
11 Mar 08 9:09 pm
Grow Up Jen
Heres a few things I wanna say to you so you might just get it into your head to leave me the fuck alone.
You may have been and gone here, but Jen. You get under my skin for many reasons. The day you deleted your profile I could not have been happier to have seen you go. And comeing back to check my gonegothic last 50 visitors after I told you last time to leave me alone and see you had been around. It was gut renching. I asked you what the hell you wanted and of course you had to reply with something so pathetic. Followed by rateing me a 1. Then blocking me. How very mature.
you need to learn to chill out miss!l
what is your problem? can you even remember why you hate me or do you just hold grudges for no reason?
get some help, you bloody well need it!
So heres a couple of things I have to say Jen.
If you had of stayed away from me in the first instance like I told you so many times you would not have got the back lash. It was your own fault. You shouldnt have come back for a nose on my profile. It was just asking for trouble.
I dont need to chill out. If you ask anyone around here I am generally a nice user who gets on with most people unless prevoked. Or given reason to not get along with someone.
Whats my problem? You. Theres still a few things that I remember and I dont feel the need to express them on here. You know that I never got on well with you for those reasons and I had in the begining done the mature thing and asked you to leave me alone. Its your own fault things escalated.
Get some help I need it? I dont need help. I'm not in a mental state. Maybe some help to get rid of you wouldnt go a stray. Since you obviously are not getting the hint. You talk like I'm the immtaure one, when actually its you. I mean, for fucks sake. I told you to leave me alone in the begining you insisted on continueing. Then when I asked you what you wanted this time when i had seen you vistied my profile you came back with the abusive comment and the one rate. Heres the main thing I wanna say to you.
GROW THE FUCK UP!
And for those who wanna have a go. Don't bother. This has been building for a while. I've stayed quite long enough.
04 Mar 08 6:18 pm
I THOUGHT YOU CARED!?!
Wow. Dont come on gonegothicc for ages, and I would have thought someone might notice my absence and wonder how I am. I get back on and not so much as a single
'hey tash how have you been aint seen you around in a while hope your well'
Would it kill you? I mean come on. I am the girl that comes on gonegothic every day without a doubt, then suddenly I dissapear. I'd have thought you'd notice. It makes me wonder weither I should bother keeping this profile or giving the delete button a little bit of a squeese.
The way I'm feeling right now either way I doubt anyone would NOTICE!
06 Feb 08 11:57 am
.:: RANT ::.
What total and utter bullshit.
I have been doing written RPG for going on 4 years now. I use to rpg with some really good rpgers who brought me up doing parragraph rpg. Now, this type is a dieing art form there is fuck all people that can manage to get past a couple of lines now days and are to fucking lazy to use thier brains enough to make something half way creative. And if that does not piss me off enough, it makes it worse when I go into an rpg area take the time thought and fucking effort only to be completely ignored in the rpg or worse have someone try and controle what happends for me next.
Now, if I remember rightly that shit never use to happen. What the fuck is wrong with you people, scared of a little challenge. Pull you fucking finger out of your ass open your mind up and use your thoughts to create something for once will you. God fucking damn, and to those who try and controle what happends next, go pull your finger out of your ass and quit trying to fucking controle what happends.
There was one a time where there was such freedom and passion in rpg now its like a flogged fucking horse. Dead. So stop killing what was once a beautiful thing to do, stop trying to controle, stop ignoreing the ones who post big and start bringing back the good old times when RPG use to be fun. Before the rpg gets wittled down to nothing more then patthetic one liners.
14 Jan 08 4:18 am
What An Eventful Day
This morning I woke up and looked around my room not feeling all that happy. It was not exactly a sad feeling and it was not exactly angery, its hard to explain, all I knew is that what I needed was to get out. I was right.
After getting up and getting dressed I plugged my Ipod into my ears and began to walk, and walk, and walk. And before I knew it I had walked all the way into the main town which is about an hours walk (easy)
As I walked I felt the feeling change and my mind clear out. I thought less and less about the things that had been bugging me. I guess the PMS does not help, and I know I get a little cranky. But I think the walk was seriously giving me a chance to get it all out, to stop and smell the roses so to speak.
When I got to the main town I walked down the main street, I considered going for a look in shops but thought twice of it not likeing the idea of having to deal with people, so I carried on walking then I saw the Timezone. Every time Mike has taken me in there we have had an incredible time, and I knew it wouldnt be the same without him but I remembered I had money left on my timezone card and thought I would give it a go.
I can tell you now, when you are feeling like I did at the time there is nothing better then blasting the shit out of aliens. I'll admit its not as fun as when me and Mike are a team playing that game. Of course it wouldnt be, but it helped to blast the hell out of those Aliens, I'll be the first to admit I didn't get as far on the game alone. (Mike and I can usually manage to do two levels before my credit runs out- Not sure how many since I ran out of credit) but when I played it on my own I managed to get to the second to last part of the first stage. But it gets a bit hard when you have like 3 or 4 different lazer firers popping up and you have to shoot them all and try and take out the main tower on your own. So I can safely say I do enjoy it more when I have Mike there blasting with me, we kick ass and make an awesome team. Its undeniable!
When I left there I put my Ipod back on again and began to walk home. When I have my Ipod on I don't really notice the feeling of walking. I could walk for hours with my ipod on and not realise (Its the same when I am walking with good company.) When I got to the last quarter of my walk home I decided I was going to take a slight detour and walk down the memorial path which is like a bush walk type area, I had a little sit down and just relaxed looking out over the river taking in the fresh air, I texted for a bit and when I had finished my rest I up and walked again heading home. It did not take me long to reach my town and it was then that I got the idea to apply at the vidieo store, so tomorrow I will be doing that and with a bit of luck I may get a job.
On the other side of town I was feeling a bit dry in the mouth so I went into the store that imports all the over seas food and got myself a Red Bull Concentrate drink (Props to Mike for showing me the drink) and walked over to the park and sat down and drank it (Shit it tasted good and it was nice and cooling) When I felt the energy kick in I began to walk the rest of the way home which was not really all that long, its about a 20 minite to half hour wallk from where I am staying too the little town where I live.
When I did get home, I signed in to the interent and talked for a little while, did some research on my starsign and its charictoristics, learned quite a bit that I didn't already know. Then Mike was texting me replying to the text I sent him earler about the job. He didn't recive my reply so he ended up calling me (Best mate on Vodafone was the best plan ever made!) and he talked to me for a bit, I got to tell him about my plans at the vidieo shop and he explained to me about the dorks at where he works. Him and his manager pretty much singlehanded run the butchery area. Fuck yeah those guys rock.
He agrees with me about my thoughts on the vidieo shop, if I lived in his suburb he would be talking to me about working at Woolworths where he works. And if it was not so far away travel wise for someone who has no car I would work there. I ended up talking to him untill he decided to get some rest. I LOVE talking to him on the phone when I am not hanging out with him. I specially like how the past couple of days we have been calling and talking about what either of us has gotten up too that day. It totally rocks my fucking socks.
Now I think I might just kick back and relax, talk to people online do some updates and maybe have a snooze.
13 Jan 08 9:21 am
I'm Learning About My Illness
I have been diognised with it for a while, and have never truely understood it as well as I should have. There has been things I have noticed that are caused by the ADD and changed when I am medicated and not medicated, but up untill now I never had much of an understanding for it.
The only reason I found out about this site that has been providing me with this information was because I just happend to meet someone last night who also has ADD and got talking to her, she had done a lot o research on it and told me about this site to go to and I have learned so much and got quite and understanding for it. It actually opend my eyes to a lot of reasons I am like I am and let me know that is ok. And that I am not the only one, well. I knew I was not the only one after seeing a lot of simmalaritys in the friend i met last night who also has ADD.
Heres some intresting things that I found from the site that I found related:
Often talks excessively:
"Once [Extraverts] begin to put words together, their speech seems to occur as an explosion. Many parents say that once their Extraverted children began to talk, they never stopped! In fact, they often insist that they be heard. Since they tend to think out loud, they often give quite long and involved explanations and stories. And, because they form most of what they want to say as they are saying it, it's easy for them to lose their train of thought if they are interrupted or made to wait their turn to speak. They usually find this terribly frustrating and may rage or cry when they forget what they were going to say."
Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed
"Extraverted children frequently interrupt others, unable to hold onto any thought or idea for any length of time without expressing it. When you interrupt an Extraverted child's words, you interfere with her thinking...Extraverted children do tend to think out loud, and they may simply say things to see how they sound. And in speaking before thinking, they may end up saying things that they don't mean or that are not true.
Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work or other activities
"Because the Intuitive child is pulled toward the future and possible, he may seem uninvolved and inattentive to the present. When the present is a classroom lesson or parental instruction, the Intuitive child can find himself in difficulty...the Intuitive child might be daydreaming the hours away." - Keirsey/ "Please Understand Me"
"Absorbed as they often are in their internal world, [Intuitives] tend miss a great deal of what's right around them -- current reality is merely a problem to be solved, or a stage of development toward some future ideal. Not only can they miss details, they can also lose track of where they are, and for instance drive right past their highway turn-off. 'It's only reality' they sometimes say, to register their relative disinterest in the merely concrete. But more than disinterest, [Intuitives] can be discontent with reality, even bothered by it, and speculate about possible ways of improving it. Because of their tenuous grasp of reality, [Intuitives] can appear to [others] as flighty, impractical, and unrealistic -- the dreamer or absent-minded professor who can't be bothered with the nitty-gritty of living." - Keirsey website.
"Cognition for the NF [Intuitive-Feeling] child may be impressionistic. He tends to be satisfied with a global, diffuse grasp of learning. If he gains a general impression, glossing over details, he still believes that he has sufficient mastery of the subject." - Keirsey/ "Please Understand Me."
Is often forgetful in daily activities.
"The Perceiving child may have to be reminded to get dressed, to come to dinner, to take out the trash, to do his homework, and so on." - Kiersey/ "Please Understand Me."
"Focus and concentration do not come easily to most ENFPs. I takes great effort to stay on task."
INFPs "frequently forget things like keys, homework, or their backpacks."
Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities.
Note that nearly all children identified as ADD actually focus extremely well on anything they find interesting. The problem is usually that they do not find SCHOOL interesting.
This is also described as the child who likes to start things but doesn't finish them, or who bounces from toy to toy. Perceivers are defined, in part, by their preference for starting projects rather than finishing them.
Intuitive types "can become bored quickly with too much repetition or routine."
NTs (Intuitive-Thinkers) "are bored very quickly and need a steep learning curve to stay engaged. Once they master something, they will change interests and hobbies (and eventually jobs!) more often than any other temperament."
"Homework is frequently another trouble spot for many school-aged ENFPs, who have yet to develop the work and study habits that make completing assignments easier and quicker."
SPs (Sensory-Perceivers) are well known for their dislike of school work and their drive to escape from it. "As the curriculum becomes less active, the SP does not find the activity and excitement he wants. As the demand is for concentration, he becomes restless and turns to activities of his own initiation." - Keirsey/ Please Understand Me.
Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities.
"The Perceiving child...may seem unconcerned about whether he is on time for class or not. He may have a jumble in his closets and make a rat's nest o his dresser drawers -- and has difficulty understanding why this causes his mother discomfort...The Perceiving child may have to be reminded to get dressed, to come to dinner, to take out the trash, to do his homework, and so on." - Keirsey/ "Please Understand Me"
Often loses things necessary to tasks or activities (eg. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
Intuitives are famous for losing things while they are daydreaming - see above quotes.
ENFP: "Life can be chaotic with an ENFP. They seem to create messes everywhere and are not nearly as interested in finishing projects as they are in starting them. Cleanup is almost always a battle."
Is often distracted by extraneous stimuli. Perceiving Children:
"For Scott, a Perceiving child, cleaning his room can end up taking three times as long as his mom, a Judger, thinks it ought to. As he picks up his many toys, he usually find all kids of treasures he hasn't seen for a long time and stops to play for a while."
There are two major types of ADD at this time (this aspect of ADD keeps evolving): ADD with hyperactivity (the traditional type of ADD) and ADD without hyperactivity ("inattentive" type). Here are the DSM IV diagnostic criteria in a condensed form:
Inattention (must meet six of the following to a degree that is "maladaptive"):
[Bolded the ones I fit]
Often fails to give close attention to details or makes mistakes in schoolwork;
difficulty sustaining attention in tasks;
seems not to listen;
fails to follow instructions or finish work;
difficulties with schoolwork or homework;
loses things like school assignments, books, tools, etc.;
forgetful about daily activities.
ADD with Hyperactivity (must meet six of the following to a degree that is "maladaptive"):
fidgety in a squirmy sense;
doesn't stay seated;
runs or climbs excessively (or feelings of restlessness in older children);
difficulty playing quietly;
often "on the go" or acts if "driven by a motor";
often talks excessively/Does Not Think Before They Speak/Wants To Know Everyhing They Can;
blurts out answers to questions;
difficulty waiting in lines or waiting turns;
often interrupts or intrudes on other
Intuitives are often distracted by inner thoughts
Joke Prayer for an Intuitive-Perceiver type: "Please God, help me to concentrate on one - Look, a bird! - thing at a time."
Theres so much more here at the site to help aid understanding. I dont want to drown you in it, just want for you to have a better understanding of it now that I do too. If you want to read up more on it to understand it here is the link: http://www.borntoexplore.org/whatisadd.htm
04 Jan 08 10:02 am
Can It Be Fixed
At some point or another everyone questions themself they question who they are, where they are going and what might become of them (If anything at all) they pick appart their flaws and think deeply about situations they could have, should have, would have. And even the ones they wish they could change. They think about important turning points in their lives and things that they secertly wish they could change. And tonight I was no acception.
I don't know, I just got to thinking about all the things that I personally feel are wrong with myself, or people have pointed out that they dont like. And me being me have in the past bent over backwards and changed all that is asked of me (Even if it was something I loved) Ive been looking back over things I should have or could have done, looking over my flaws and what has ruined things for me in the past and what still continues to ruin things for me in the future.
And after all that I've begun to wonder what those guys who dated me saw that I didn't see. Maybe they did it out of pitty or because they felt sorry for me, maybe they wanted to see how things would go. I know I'm not perfect, I know no one is but at times it feels like I'm so far away from perfect that I cant see why anyone would take an intrest. I'm not beautiful, I dont have a perfect body, I'm not the smartest girl. And I dont think before I do and say things. I dont know, maybe if I went on the medication and started working out more I might get my concentration listening and memory back, and do something about this disgusting body of mine.
I dont know, everytime something good comes along I end up fucking it up somehow, weither I ask to many questions or I get jealous, or I'm not affectionate enough, or im to affectionate, I mean I've always been (god willing) one to do anything I possibly can to make the people I am with happy, and when I make them upset or angery or disspleased with me I no longer know what to do and begin to pannic. Maybe they are right maybe I do try to hard. I'm just so scared that sooner or later im going to get in real deep with how I feel and fuck up somehow without even meaning too.
The ultimate regret.
22 Dec 07 5:58 pm
Fuck this shit. I'm having internet internet issues at the moment. I am trying my best to get things sorted out. I dont know how long it'll take. But I am trying my hardest. The guy at the hostle does not wanna deal with me he thinks its my antivirus blocking it and I dont have the details to get help from the internet company. I'm beggining to get seriousely pissed off with it. From face value it looks like its connected and tells me that its connected. But when I go to do online things, it acts like its not connected.