08 May 13 11:51 am

Judging In Mirror

To watch the video of me reciting this poem go to : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzNymQlRw9I&feature=share&list=UUWrgalj0NzwLH0Z1g23Kbrw

Judging in mirror,
that they tell you to look in,
for imperfection,
and faults,
which are just traits,

Your virtue is to not be a sheep,
not conforming or following government orders,
as individuality is what you keep,
with quotes from people who do the same,
people expect you to change,
so you can be the same way,
and say things that they say,

Nothing makes sense because we don't mean shit,
that's why we make people feel small to feel big,
we're all selfish pricks,
just no one admits it,

You flee from the scene,
and crowds of scowls,
looking down,
selling packs of lies,
and you fantasise
wanting back a moment in time,
with those feelings,
those people,
and those props,
which are probs beers and cigs,
watching a windsor blue sky turn black on Marlboro bridge,

Affording ya Mayfair on ya welfare,
but who gives enough of a shit,
to hear it,
they just give their own verdict,
out the bulls arse,
as they talk farce,
in their bars,
telling the young ones of when times were hard,
but you know better then to listen,
so out you go before your mind starts twistin,
in knots,
tied by false talk of how to be,
in this life of darn misery,

with a chin nudged up,
from the whiskey in his cup,
but only take your own word,
as its through your eyes you see this world,
and it's without being propped up by their props,
of false gods,
be like them and if your not,
then to them your odd,

But in the mirror there's a better person,
then there is anywhere else,
so get out before things worsen,
and try to save yourself

Written - 23.apr.09

08 May 13 11:50 am

Up In Smoke

To watch the video of me performing this poem go to : http://youtu.be/XIyx1nhj2Vs



Her teary eyes watch me when I weep,
I've been locked inside the same night,
for weeks,
red lightening stripes strike my eyes,
blood shot,
alcohol & weed, mixed in me,
beautiful chemistry,

Acting out alter egos
when glasses lenses won't leave them alone,
picture me with hollow stare,
struck with gormless pose,
out of here, was I ever there?
Mouth a gaping hole,
up in smoke,

Oh before I go to sleep,
your always in my dreams,
this time bring some weed,
black walls growing green green leaves,
sharp teeth,
falling,
digging past skin deep,
harsh cuts are her speech,
her teary eyes watch me weep,

My last request;
1 pack of cigarettes,
a bag of weed,
bottle of whiskey,
for one last night with me,
coma,
be in the coma dream,
because I don't plan on waking up,
colourful smoky screams,
flares: Vietnamese,

Be my sexual solution,
to my love life problems,
I insist, partially exist,
in the vacant space
where my ex girlfriend used to live,

Don't forgive just forget,
the moment fleeting,
feelings never left my head,
are we strangers yet?
Have your carelessness & my vulnerability met?
In a black house on a dark street,
where we go quietly,
her teary eyes watch me weep,
blood shot violently,
I act out alter egos,
look at me,

Mouth a gaping hole,
up in smoke,
be my solution, fuck me,
after one more drink maybe,
come on tour with me,
I'm in the band; rock & roll,
up in smoke & on the road,
waking up in Amsterdam,
called for by the music,
as it fiends for friends to relate to it,
lyrics they sink,
thoughts float as you think,

Alcohol & weed, mixed in me,
beautiful chemistry,
your eyes they film me,
then your mind projects me
into your dreams,
the black skies grow green green leaves,
a smoky fog runs through the street,
where your carelessness & my vulnerability meet,

Weed smoke sprayed through my breathe,
how many life lines I got left?
Your whispers go through my head,
as whiskey passes down my neck,
her teary eyes watch me weep,
black walls growing green green leaves,
oh before I go to sleep,
your always in my dreams,
this time bring some weed,
up in smoke that's where I wanna be

Written - 16.feb/10

29 Apr 13 12:19 pm

Searching For..(part 2)

watch the video of me performing this poem @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB0WCz908aM&feature=share&list=UUWrgalj0NzwLH0Z1g23Kbrw

I try a mask to escape my problems
But they're reflected in my attitude
In with a hit -- mood swing
Reveals everything
Break out, snap the cocoon
The think mask comes loose
I lose the illusory smile and wide eyes
They narrow down to scope, focusing my hate
I'm so focused on hate I can't embrace
..love, the heart of rage
Beats a pulse on my face
That is the talk that don't stop til it stops to..
Complain & rage about something else.. What's new?

What is real?
The Mask is off but is this just an act? is it exactly that?
So I over react
So I can get the crowd's attention back

Paranoid letting my guilty conscience speak for me
I started a joke
I woulda seen that it was on me
But I smoked so much weed

Some beers later I turn to my friends & say
We could be heroes just for one day
Rob a bank & get away, get away
The hell away from hellish lives & save
Our own lives from the 9 to 5 strain each day
To barely be able to pave your way
Fuck that with a black mask & big gun
Let's take everything we can get & run

I need a knock out cos I'm far behind
On points in this unfair fight between me
& the worlds council N Powers that be
Politicians aint our friends they just lie well
& mates are just thieves that hide it well
But I digress- 3 cheers to bank robbers
& their will to live free
Pour a shot with me

At the worst of times the best loves can
Tear eachother up
Drive one and other mad
Another shouting match, tug of feelings
One hand on her throat and my fist is raised
But then I put it down and kiss her face
I can hold my temper but inside I rage
Am I just a fool or insane?
Am I just a fool or insane?
So often they feel like one in the same
Stupidity has it's come downs for the
Idiot, insanity runs around
With a violent urge running up my spine
& a vicious vision plays in my mind

I see myself rob a corner shop
I'm so desperate
I see myself beat a hooker 'til she drops
I'm in so much pain
I see an old man around town count his cash
I think to know him down for his fifty pounds
I'm so desperate
I see myself swing a bottle at a
Stranger, watch the glass smash
Across his face
Like my aspirations
I'm in so much pain
Give me strength, give me inspiration

Some turn to god, I think to turn to guns
To get myself my freedom, drugs and funds
Get me to the bank, bank ho my soldiers!
I step in wearing all black with a trench coat
And Marilyn Manson mask, gun in my
Shaky hand, stuttering as I demand
G-g-give me the cash and N-n-no one
Gets hurt, wait it gets worse it was just a dream
No gun waits under my bed when I wake
But these delusions help me keep going
Like laughing and joking about my
Whimsical thoughts of suicide, I'm sick
Of working hard to merely exist

Aspiration Nation sounds a lot like New World Order
Aspiration Nation sounds a lot like New World Order

But I digress
So anyway..
What makes me better then the people I hate?

Written 13th-26th March 2013

29 Apr 13 12:17 pm

Searching For..

Check the video of me performing this poem @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbxDxgNaJYg&feature=share&list=UUWrgalj0NzwLH0Z1g23Kbrw

Searching for inspiration in poetry books, reading all sorts
2pac, Jim Morrison
Charles Bukowski & David Morgan to name a few

Reading about some tragic happening in the news
Thinking "that happened in a poem that I wrote"
My mind quickly moves on to a different thought as
My heads driving a stolen car through the BadLands
Got an obsession with a new concept
Yet here I am talking about Whiskey
Here I am talking about weed
Guess what I'll talk about next...
Having no money for Whiskey
And having no money or patience for these problems
Oh whats that? You've got a problem?
Get in line
Say a prayer, got no time for yours
I got mine!
I'm sorry did I just..
..force you away and push
..you out?
I can't doubt that I'll be pulling you back
When I need a helping hand
Or a patient ear
I guess we're almost irrelevant to each other
'til we need a beer
Or a friend to shout at about
Wanting to kill a foe and wanting to punch
The people in suits who tell you what to do

Let's get hopped up on Lucozade and Red Bull
Little monsters of caffeine and day dreams
Drink booze 'til we actually believe that we're rock stars
Searching for inspiration in Rock N Roll music
Listening to Led Zeppelin, Screaming Trees, Jonny Cash
Jerry Lee Lewis and Bo Didley to name a few
What should we do?
Mix more alcohol into this
Hyperactive mood, something funny in the smoke
The laughter is contagious
So is the high
Dreading that cold coffee/warm beer moment
Reading the morning paper and the latest bill
Nothing but receipts and expired bus passes in my wallet
And nothing but dreams in my bank account
Don't count on people generosity, they can only be so generous
And don't let people count on your vulnerabilities
Because they will when you least expect it
I'm walking to the train station
I hear the change in my pocket rattle and clank against my plastic lighter
I wish to rant, laugh and sing to the beat it makes
But no such thing comes outta me
I'm just waiting on the next couple of drunken nights
so I can forget about absolutely everything til my next hangover

29 Apr 13 12:16 pm

Merry Murder

check the video of me reciting this poem @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzrNvvgcHPM&feature=share&list=UUWrgalj0NzwLH0Z1g23Kbrw

You come at me with your own
columbine kind of nirvana,
a fist coming back gripping a gun,
in a man made karma,
revenge benched
between alcohol abuse & sex,
in an apathy suit of armour,

Wearing a mask that holds a cassette,
just repeating what someone else once said,
revenge in the commons
as Harris & Klebold pass through your emotions,
walking right into your motive,

An eye watches over this world like a moon,
& an eye from a reflection stares at you,
with a hatred that's washed right to the surface
by psychosis, hops, oats & barley,
blood, broken glass
& lip like open wounds speaking harshly,

imperfection rips at your flesh,
casting out what the next
drunk, impure & depressed
dragon sais,
we request....

...just stay here another week,
with the sad songs,
lonely shadows & reflections & the weed,
this is where the losers become poets
hanging from music & long words,
this is where the crazy guy
drinks himself over the rejecting girl,

This is where we project
our fantasy columbines onto a screen,
whilst we smoke Old Hoborn
& drink Jim Beam,
away from the world where depression
turns into a crime scene,

Dead rock stars & old folk singers
dictate our philosophies,
smoking weed to self medicate
is the subject on our page of psychology,
religion was lost long ago,
prayer was beaten by
a drunken drug riddled eulogy,
at the funeral who will you be?
we have a moving statue
or shadow of the deceased,

There's no heaven
but you could die in the forest
of an acid trips imagination,
finding yourself holding a shotgun & a bottle of wine,
hunting & looking wasted,
crossed over from a Helter Skelter dream
& a columbine fascination,
right into a gonzo esq & hippyish celebration,

I rise from the dead & forgotten grunge scene,
wearing band Ts, open plaid shirts & ripped jeans,
wearing the essence of tobacco like a natural odour,
not regretting drunk actions,
but regretting being sober,
with a smile that instead of happiness
belongs to not caring,
eyes dead, stuck staring,

Distortion given to me
in trade for clear thought,
using a Charles Manson like response,
as a way to talk,
the commercialised, bubble gum,
garbage junkies are the clowns,
for our impending acts of looking down,
merry murder anniversary to you,
we say to adversaries & personalities
that will live & die at high school,

We're easily pleased so keep the fame,
just give us the booze & the getting laid,
served on a hemp platter,
with a side of lyricism,
& mistranslated wisdom,

Don't forget the parody philosophies
that keep whispering from shivering lips,
with beer breathe, as their dipped onto a cig,
as the beer garden psychiatrist sits
out side the pub, with a friend he calls his best,
but only when he's pissed,

Beads of lyricism fired out in their dozens
from shotgun barrel shaped lips,
he is your local death wish,
killing the queen of this paradox city with a kiss,
a venom laced tongue,
& smoke rising from the ghosts lung,

The grungy assassin is wrapped up in the cocoon
of a black columbine trench coat,
comatosed to rise,
as the drunk & disorderly butterfly,
delicately gliding by,
handing events out to time,
mourned with a moment of violence,
another voice silenced,
another morbid monuments erected in minds,

You come at me with your own kind of peace & anarchy,
a personal nirvana based on sex & apathy,
cleansing your personality with egos and ids,
til your martyrdom stardom is lit,

20th April (11th anniversary of the Columbine massacre)

29 Apr 13 12:15 pm

Beloved Burden

To watch the vid of me performing this poem go to : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v22QNS5esX4&feature=share&list=UUWrgalj0NzwLH0Z1g23Kbrw



From young & in love to old & apathetic,
cheers to it,
lets drink a couple beers to it,
to being fucked up,
lets raise those middle fingers,
we only have ourselves to blame,
but without them we wouldn't be us,

Born burdens & we live that way, 'til we die saints,

When I look I don't see you no more,
just the ashy remains,
my face frozen miserable,
in the cold breathe of each day,
cold fingers touch my neck
running down the rope burn
looking for a pulse,
I drink to forget who I am,
but the hole I crawl down to get there has no end,
crying eyes & lips that tremble
run shivers down my back,
they come to me to die in my arms
& have me carry & drag,
them back to their mothers wombs,
where they eternally lay,
a sickening pain in her stomach,

Born burdens & we live that way, 'til we die saints

When they look at me like that,
I swear they look right past,
who I am,
& straight into their own misjudgement,
where I'm shrunk into another step to walk on,
the bridge is shaking & the river wants blood,
the black of the sky dives into our eyes,
& overflows melting bruises around them,
for all the times we came out at night,
the wrong thing to say was always right,
singing lie, lie, lie, lie, after lie, lie

Born burdens & we live that way, 'til we die saints,

If I could take it back,
I would give myself a chance,
instead of a long glance,
into the future which is nothing but black,
just like the streets of bad dreams,
which is where I belong,
oh take me back,
oh take me back,
down those roads that end in my throne where I'm the king among madness,
I'll have my crown of brain tumours & psychosis laced brain cells now

19.dec/o9

14 Feb 13 4:32 pm

Anti Valentines Day Poem (vid)



Imagination is a strange thing
when the subconscious is drunk of something
it really starts to sing
scream and shout to, reflected in attitudes
like sunlight; fire on the grass
mirage of a miracle
twisted up, diamond knot, so subliminal
so call of the war of minds
a bullet grazed
then I woke up mentally scarred
the devil took you far

Music plays and says things
about the memorable days
foggy nights, got caught in the haze
follow me, got my cult
we'll cause damage
lunatics loose on a rampage
an army of psychos arming their psyches
with the weapons and ammunition
that's stock piled in my imagination

My eyes will see the glory of a bloody knife
playing god rearranging and taking lives
yesterday I walked into the wrong set,
must have been an erotic movie
something beautiful trana seduce me
I was cast to conquer the enemy but the distractions bliss
when the director shouted cut
I thought it was the kill code
so I stabbed her after we fucked
I told her "sorry I've been brainwashed
to kill anyone I love
and you played perfect for me
,thrilled me with your lust"

Wake up wondering "What the blunt!"
conjuring crazy thoughts up
like "I'm paranoid
are clowns with mack 10s stalking me"
call me victim of conditioning
part of the pyramid scheme
that the eye is envisioning

written 12-13february 2012

26 Jan 13 2:47 pm

Vote for my next poetry video

As some of you may know I write poetry. I have a youtube channel with over 100 videos of me performing my poems . My youtube channel is

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheIntoxikie?feature=mhee


Here's the deal I want people to read the 3 snippets below and tell me which one you like best.For the one that most people seem to prefer I will print off the full poem, record me performing it on my video camera and then upload the vid to my youtube channel TheIntoxikie.

Snippet 1. "Fuckland" written 29th August 2009

" We are the seven circles of society all caving in on ourselves, we came for food but there is not much meat left on the bones, we need to be taught but all the brains left, knowing their legacy would only be of the things they stood on & tried to break: still being intact, not of the things they stood for, but they have no feet so they just float away, to become lost undiscovered islands that the muscle & pretty skin will never inhabit,

We no longer sing we whistle, as if happiness is still here, smoke rises from the kettle like instruments we call mouths, the whistle: voice, the smoke: breath, we get the lense on our TV changed appropriately for our sight, as we wear them on our heads, changing the channel with magic markers to animate ourselves appropriately for the time of day, "

Snippet 2. "Can I Get A Moment Of Peace" written 17th February 2010

"Can I get a moment of peace,
for all the things
that died inside me,
maybe they’ll come back alive
& find me,
a bracelet of broken hearts
on my sleeve,
on the same arm that’s holds a shield,

I’m the cold breathe of the wind,
I’m your best forgotten friend,
I’m a lot of things,
I’m holdin a bag of weed,
you want some?
Because I could be a good guy
to smoke with,
living a life that I got no hope with,
feelings with a strong hold,
hard to cope with,
I try to fight back,
with a wish for a stronger grip
to choke with,

My tightened fist grows veiny,
fake & smiley face goes angry,
my twisted mind strains me,
so I get drunk,
to forget how fucked up I am,
come join me,
hold my hand,

I don’t think I’m bad,
I have no idea what I am.."

Snippet 3. "Stick Your Judgement Where It Belongs" written 22nd June 2009

"Stick your judgement where it belongs:
in the mirror,
eyes glazed raining with pain,
reflection of shame.

You sit there,
giving your ego the chair,
as that pride provides spite into your point of view,
but then you take sometime inside your mind,
thinking through,
breathing insults back in to find most land on you.


With mirrored mocking eyes
you find that the pity you place on people’s heads,
is the cracking depths of stress,
inside your chest,
without admittance you used denial
wiring through trial as you judge instead.

Through blurry crying vision
and running make up
you realize you’re a clown to,
opinion of self fades
as reflection blurs further,
realizing in the zeros of nobodies
they miscount you.


With false authority held in a name tag,
flashing orders around like a police badge,
until you’re finally snapped in two,
by a middle finger and a fuck you.

Just another shit in the heap,
no black in your wool
just another plain sheep.."

22 Jan 13 3:12 pm

It's Crazy



Mental disturbance, what's this incurrence?
I'm just looking for some self assurance
Too many questions, well can I be me?
And can you be you or should we just be
Whoever as long as it fits with the
moment in time, so who you got in mind?
A poet? A drunk? A sex maniac?
Defend with lack of emotion then attack
By expressing that
There's pleasure in pain
But not today so strangle me now bitch
Slap me; c'mon I need a harder hit!
Give me passion fast, sex without romance
, love without emotion
What's love anyway?
That early nineties moment
"what is love?"
Just fuck me, fuck me after you hurt me
Out in the dark with some change in my pocket
Looking for a girl to party with
It's crazy, it's not a relationship
It's anti-loneliness medication
Thinking what "would a rock-star do in this
situation?"
cos I wanna be one
We are the voices of the angry and the depressed
We feel like shit and we wanna get pissed
Drowned my problems in energy drinks all day

Love what do you want from me?
What do you want?
I see I'm not who I'm supposed to be
When in your place it's a ghost I see
"I guess you're a paranoid delusion"
Between lack of sleep and confusion
Broke into my mind through the memories
Losing my serotonin, hope it comes back
With the dumbstruck mania that attacks
I'm happy for a while but the stress is chasing
I wonder; where is my inspiration?
A piece of the poem is missing
Sink deeper into the words on the paper
I'm thinking back on the words from her mouth
I'm neurotic, an urge that's psychotic
Chaotic, egajerating my feelings
Say I'll kill someone 'til I believe it
Driven from love into the arms of hate
It became a strong enough place to put faith

What's love anyway? The steam in self esteem?
Love what do you want from me?
Torturing
Myself with this poetry
Why do I even bother to write?
Why don't I just mindlessly get on with life?
Misinterprating my dreams again
Another childist scribble on the wall
As my brains fall
Down it in a trail of blood
we are the voices of the angry and depressed
cold shivers under skin cos we're possessed
I hear the voice of a being near me
a being no one else can hear or see

Go away! Let me imagine someone else
change feelings for you into confidence
love is like cocaine ; an energy
that can easily be made as violent as hatred
we kept driving each other crazy
... you were my sense of fucked up inspiration
do I want you back? or just another chance..
... to hurt you? So you'll start screaming
I'll grab you by the face and push you
hold you up against the wall and fuck you!
What is this? That Eminem moment?
With a mix of violent anger and love
when these frustrations collide into lust
she's got a neuro-linguistic touch
and she knows how to talk to my mind
even though I don't know what to say
cos I don't know what will happen today

written 13th-17th November 2012

Comments (1)

30 Dec 12 7:16 pm

G-had

To watch the video of me performing this poem use this link ----> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0irJgx6ecxk&feature=youtu.be

Kidnap all the oscar nominees
& give the awards to
drug dealers, killers & theives
who'll thank which ever "god"
runs their system of beliefs
& a gun called survival
that kept them alive in the streets
the weapon - like a life support machine
making it that much easier to breathe

they accept the award on the behalf
of being guilty as charged
stuffing dollas down the whores bra
after she hands you the award because you are
the star of somebodies mental scar
the whore hands you the award
becacause your hands carved
all of those face changing scars
the victims caught night terrors & a violent rage
from the knifes infection
they see violence at night, as if they say your days
in the knifes reflection

sympathy don't live here no more
it was leeched from the teary eyes
of a five dolla whore
drugs on sale & natural insanity is fun
it's like a free version of being drunk
cocaine for breakfast & alcohol to wash it
down
down
down
down we go
if you need a gram, ounce or kilo
let me know

in your mind, behind your eyes
there's probably prison bars
with murderers inside
in the darkness of your brain
there's probably an alley way
where a drug dealer earns his wage
probably in your subconsious stands
a guy with your determanism in his plan
your "god" & "devil" in one man
I think you'll probably find
your thoughts written in blood
like war paintings of our mind
squeezed into the fist of your headache
there's probably a blade
making it bleed rage all over your face

there's probably demons with familiar faces
in your memory , smiling at your past miseries
putting you in all sorts of dark places
from your room with the lights out
& music playing, all the way to
late night streets with your knife out


the voice in the back of your head
is probably a poet like me
laughing & smoking a cigarette
I wrote it, thats what you probably think
but actually you did
I just put it down in ink

sympathy don't live here no more
just distractions from self lothing
like drugs,violence & cheep whores
let charles manson take over the session
after we kipnap the shrink
see if that'll make any progression
cocaine for breakfast
& violence to knock him
down
down
down
down he goes
if you need a gram, ounce or kilo
let him know

in your reccuring dream
there's probably a vacant funeral you see
you look into the coffin to view the corpse
then you realise .. oh shit... it's yours

written 21-24 may 2010