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dav's Buddies Poetry

black_rozez

22 Nov 06 3:07 am
Dear Me

Dear me...
Im sorry I hide from the world
Im sorry I bottle the pain.
I'm sorry that I cut myself, in the hopes to feel again.

I'm sorry about your broken heart
I never thought love could hurt so much
I should have listend when you told me,
when you watned me to turn and run
When you first told me that falling always feels like flying
Untill you hit the ground.

You show me constant pictures of my past
and at the time I thought it'd last.
Once again I'm the hopless heart
lost in a world where no one understands

You warned me not to play with sharp things
and once upon a time my heart was soft
But now its broken into jaggered and sharp peices
And I'm forver cutting myself trying to fix it.

I'm bleeding from a wound no docter can fix
Im broken and yet I still force myself to move.
I'm damaged and yet I still force myself to smile
And for a while I fool myself that I'm ok.
For a while I fool myself that I'm not hurt.
And hat I dont cry at night
crying the silant tears that no will will ever see.

I know you told me not to think like this
But I've broken into tiney enough peices
I'd be like a broken toy that no one would miss
soon to be replaced by a bigger and better toy
soon to be forgotten

Let me ask you a question, a simple one as this
How long do I have to smile this smile and act like I'm fine
before the pain ends and I dissapear.
black_rozez

17 May 06 5:14 am
Forget Me

Forget me to you I’m worthless
don’t act like you care
Remind yourself time again that you'll never be there
And I’ll act like I didn’t she a tear.

Turn your back on me now and don’t say good-bye
for what I thought was something
was truly a lie

You didnt mean what you did nor all those things you said
I see that now, no longer blinded or hopelessly misled.
Forget me now just walk away
convince yourself for just one more day
that you never led my feelings astray.
black_rozez

05 Feb 06 1:13 pm
Im Sorry...

Im sorry for every move I made
Im sorry for every breath I take
Im sorry for the way I made you cry
Some times you must have wished that I would die
Im sorry for the time I screamed
For saying all those things I didn't mean

Can you hear me
Im screaming a sorry excuse
Can you hear me im screaming
For all those years, theres no use.

Im sorry for all those years I ever brought you down
I always thought that maybe you'd come around
Im sorry for all those times I made you cry
Watching the tears fall made me wanna die

Can you hear me
Im screaming a sorry excuse,
Can you hear me im screaming
For all those years, theres no use.

Im sorry for all those times I let you down
I hate myself for the fact I was never around
Im sorry I left you crying on the floor
When I should have been there to help you through it all

Can you hear me
Im screaming a sorry excuse,
Can you hear me im screaming
For all those years, theres no use.


I should have been there I know that now
But its to late for all that now
Your gone and theres nothing I can say
To make this self hate and blame go away
Nothing I can say to bring you back
I should have stoped, I should have turned back

I feel like it shouldn't have been this way
Im crying here now cant you see
I didn't mean it you were part of me
The best part, the only part I'd ever need
I look at your grave now and I wonder
I wonder if your out there can you hear me,
I know its to late now coz your gone
But I need you to hear me now
As I say these words, and look upon your lonely grave
I say these words and hope that if you're out there you could hear me

Im sorry.
black_rozez

11 Aug 05 4:40 am
Invisible

Crimson rivers shower down upon my broken and tattured soul
It drowns me in its overwhelming pain\here I find myself bound
Bound by forces greater then Heaven and Hell

I bier wounds deep within me, deeper then crimson rain can wash away
this awful pain, these taunting memories and thoughts
To deep for the crimson rain to seep into the wounds of my broken soul

Yet I sit, I wait I hope, I hate
I support the ones I love yet hide my pain
Tell me some one is this my fate to sit and watch myself break again?

Support I give
Support they take
I thought you cared
My mistake

They flock to me, a many a few
They need my help
To stop feeling blue

Yet I sit here and wonder how long before I break
Before I crumble
Before I disappear
I wonder if they would notice
If they would even care

Many are oblivious to my destruction
I often wish I was as invisible as they make me feel
So I could disappear and become nothing, not even a memory, barely a
foot print in the sands of history

What drives me to see tomorrow, what makes me wake up in the
morning and force my eyes open when I can still feel the tears from
screaming into my pillow welling in my eyes
What makes me put on my fake smile and act like its ok, that I’m not
breaking inside

The last of the once loyal friends, the family the people I love, the
people who never walked away from me when I needed them, the
people that didn’t turn and run when I screamed, the people who didn’t
turn a blind eye when I sat with thoughts of suicide racing through my
head like blood through my veins

I’ll never turn my back on them nor would I show them my hidden pain,
I’ll just sit here and hope the world will think me invisible again so I can
disappear again
black_rozez

31 May 05 5:58 am
Porcelain Mask

A puppet in a thing called life
Strings bound me to this world where I am constantly played
I walk the same roads
I smile the same fake smile
A smile now painted upon my porcelain features
As I am manipulated by these strangling strings I wonder
I wonder why
Why I was created, did I truly have a peropus or am I forever to be a
puppet in an unknown and misunderstood world

Some day some one will cut my strings, some day I will fall
Fall to what I ask
Its dark out there in the real world
Is silent and all I can do is wonder
Wonder if all the pain was worth it, wonder if I’ll ever find myself in this
world
Or is it to dangerous for a porcelain face and innocent eyes

Maybe the face of man is the same as his brother, as though it were
cloned
I ask myself now what is truly real
When will some one cut my strings, set me free from this constant
unknowing and show me what is real so that I may have a real face, a
heart, a soul to live, to feel
And maybe is this world i might find my rightful place
black_rozez

19 May 05 10:53 pm
Blood Stain

Inferno torches under a crimson sky
A crimson sky filled with war cries
A thousand feet pound the blood soaked ground
Hero’s drop like flies amidst the rapid gunfire
The blood showers the ground like crimson rain
The walls crumble under the constant beating of forces to strong to
comprehend

The line of man is falling, the generation ended by a single blood stained
bullet shot through a pumping heart

The sound of war and death fills the air, fills the minds of men turning
their hearts cold and their minds to murderous deeds
Almost as though take hold by a spell, they take up their guns and
walks out onto a barren battle field or so they may have been lead to
believe
Concealed within the blood stained grass and covered by the bodies of
their fallen comrades hides a force, they stand ready for the perfect
second to strike upon the one so filled with such allusion and fake
courage, like a predator upon its prey

The second comes, the forces within lightning fast speed upon the
soldier extinguishing his life leaving yet another bloody body fall to the
blood sodden ground, staining the land leaving a permanent reminder
of a death no one knew would exist, yet another nameless man falls to
his death, never to make it home to his loved ones, never to be buried,
nor set to rest in the cool earth, he shell never know where life stops
and death begins

His line has ended like the many other men that fell to death this day,
and for what reason, they call it “Life” I see no “life” in the way men are
put to death fighting a war they never started, dieing young and never
really offered a chance to live, breath, grow and learn
Me shell grow old with knowledge for generations yet to come
black_rozez

06 May 05 3:58 pm
[Burns like Fire Chills like I

Cold, cold like the icy winds that now blow through my blackened heart
You said you’d be there from the very start
And yet, here I stand, here I wait
Tell me some one, is this my one true fate

His eyes cold, his words like ice upon my caring soul
He ripped me in two
He ripped me apart,
He promised he’d be there from the start

He knows not what he dose to me
Nor dose he really care
But I must remind myself, he once told me that he would always be there
What I ask to know now is
Was he even there?

He was my brother
My life long friend
And until this point this point I thought
I thought this bond would never end

You showed me now, you showed me true
This is my fate this stemmed from you
You left me standing broken
And forever I shell stand and wait
For one day you will see, just how much you meant to me
And from this day forth I shell hide the wounds in which you inflicted
deep with in me
black_rozez

12 Apr 05 5:11 am
Masquerade Smiles & Hidden Tea

Masquerade smiles
A happy joyful smile
You think im so happy
Never a sad face
I am the child the strayed from its mother arms
Exposed to life alone with out tender charms
Into a world of hurt and torment
Into a world of pain
Will this be my downfall
My never ending pain

You know not what I go through
Nor what I do
I place upon a happy face
One that never cries for you
In my fake smiles you see a world of sunshine
Unknown to you my heart riddled with hate

You’ll never know what I go through
You’ll never know my fate
So for you I’ll act like I don’t cry
For you I’ll act like I know no pain
And for you I’ll put on a fake smile to comfort you again
black_rozez

09 Apr 05 2:07 am
Burned Broken & Torn Apart

I’ve been Burned
I’ve been broken
I’ve been torn apart

Here I am picking up the pieces
Of my broken heart

Here I am beaten
Locked out in the cold
no one’s here to save me
Save me from this bitter and endless cold

I am nothing but a toy
A toy is what I am
You play your little games with my mind
And when you grow tired
You sit me upon your distant shelf

Battered by my fears
Ripped by my self hate
Here I stand
Here I wait

I wait for you
The end of me
I wait for the pain to end
So I can be free

So let me pick up my pieces
don’t let me be your toy
don’t drag me down
don’t drown me in your soothing arms
They drag me deeper each time

I will not put my pieces back together
Just to fall apart because of you
Your not worth my life nor my pain
I will put myself back together
Only to rise up and become strong again
black_rozez

02 Apr 05 11:36 am
Live on

Help me I’m falling, I’m crashing down
Falling….Crashing, from a life so hurtful and insecure

Help me I’m slipping
Slipping into a never ending sleep

Help me I’m dieing
Dieing from a love, a love never true

Save me I’m breaking
Breaking into a thousand pieces
Pieces that will never find their place

Hold me I’m broken
Broken to pieces because of you
I’m facing a never ending pain
Slowly it drives me
Drives me insane

Let me Die so I may live
I die so I may live
Because to me
there’s nothing here but hurt and pain

Take me
Take me away from this place of hurt
This place of hurt and pain
For I fear I will grow insane

Save me
Save me for this emptiness that no one for fill
Because I know that each day I disappear a little more
Surrounded by my self hate
Here I sit here I wait
I refuse to move, I refuse to run
I will not be the one to surrender to my pain
To the shackles of my life
The shackles that will never break

Let me Die so I my live on