I don't mention this very often, but I was "diagnosed" with A.D.D. when I was 7, and I was put on Adderall for the next 12 years... and it benefitted me in unintended ways, but I felt it was also causing some damage to my mental health, which is why I stopped taking it, but that's besides the point. The thing is I really don't think I ever had A.D.D. because it only became a problem when I wasn't paying attention in school. My explanation for that is that I genuinely wasn't interested, and if I'm not interested in something I'm just not going to pay attention. It's not a mental disorder, I'm just stubborn. Even if I actually did have A.D.D. I never used it as an excuse for anything being that I didn't really think it was even a problem... actually I have to admit, I used it as an excuse to stay on Adderall, and I will admit that I abused that medication a few times. Jeez, I've just now realized how deceptive and manipulative I can be.

I had a dream that a bunch of people were telling me to give up on my dreams and then started pressuring me to join the military so I could have college paid for when I was done. I strated screaming and yelling at them out of distress and said some very callous things to them regarding their choices in life.

Her dying hours should have been to teach me how to say good bye.

Life is priceless, it should not be paid for.

In high school I really didn't know what I wanted to be. During my junior year in my ROP health class I just said I wanted to be a doctor just to humor and please my teacher. For a short while I was (mindlessly) committed to it because I liked the idea of being able to give someone the gift of life, but then just lost interest. A few years ago I realized that doctors may be able to give the gift of life, but it doesn't mean that they will. They're getting paid for it, so it's not a gift... it's a trade. No one should ever have to pay for life. If I was dying I would accept it rather than pay to have my life "saved". However, I would forever be indebted to whoever paid to have my life "saved" as it would have been done out of the bottom of their heart.

When my aunt was dying a week before I turned 14 it angered me seeing her life and suffering being prolonged. She had lived a long life but as we all know, people inevitably die. It saddens me that most doctors won't "save" lives out of the bottom of their hearts without getting paid. It saddens me that doctors get paid whether or not a patient lives, but it pisses me off that doctors get paid to prolong lives that are coming to an end anyway. But hey, everyone wants and needs money, right? It begs the question... if someone dies while a doctor is trying to "save" them for free will it be because the doctor really couldn't "save" them or will it be because they weren't being paid?

I dreamt my closest friend was fatally stabbed in front of me. She died in my arms. It was the same feeling from when another friend of mine died with her hand in mine. This dream was in the middle of the day and it ruined the rest of my day. Now I can't stop thinking about what my life would be like without her.

She can usually say more than 5 words to me as compared to any other employee. It's a nice feeling and everything, but awkwardness is everywhere among the employees.

It's a girl. I just get the feeling she does because she doesn't really say hi/good morning to anyone else other than the manager and assistant manager. She uses my name when she greets me and wear a big smile.

I think she's attractive, I just don't really wanna get involved.

I saw Jurassic World earlier today. The first 2 were better.

I think one of my coworkers likes me.

I finally have a VCR again. Oh how I'm missed the quality of VHS.

I haven't woke up this late in months.

Clerks 2. That movie just does not get old

My ex... again. She's always reminding me about things I've learned from her.

Today one of my coworkers said I sounded different.

My manager is talking about giving me more hours now that I know how to use the register.

Well, I'm not in trouble, but still, no one likes getting their hours cut.

My hours got cut again... and I have a strong feeling my ass is gonna fry because of today.