there is a comic called loveless...well anyways theres this quote in the first book.."semei, life sucks...why cant it just end allready?" and that phrase i practically live by. i didnt have a bad day or anything today, just...now that i look back on my life...it sucks. my dad is getting re-married and the more i think about it,the more things i find can go wrong. and ppl i really cared about have died and its sucks. and practically all my life i get picked on just because i was the teacher's kid, or because i was hyper, or because i just acted weird..but its just me, its not my fault. and i kno ppl say not to let what ppl say get to you, but after years of it you get to the turning point that it might just be true...and u never kno whats gunna happen in a minute. u could be alive, and then the next youre dead. and if u think about the things that u r...what if other ppl knew?if my parents knew i was bi, would they treat me differently? would they hate me instead of live me like they say they do now? or if they knew that i have cut my self. would they think i'm crazy or somthing? u never know...till it really counts. i want to tell them im bi, but im afraid. they show so much critisizim towrads gayness...and thats sort of like bi. but i cant go on the rest of my life saying im not bi, its like ignoring half myself. like if i was biracial, ablack mom and white dad, would i choose black or white and ignore my other half? leave behind another world...a world with stupid lables...gay, black, emo...because real people dont need lables...if a politician was gay, would you vote for him? or if it was a girl, would u be s**ist and vote for the guy? half of the things that they say up there are lies..to earn our trust, to show the others they're better. and have people ever thought, that troops would die in Iraq if they werent there? sure. we're trying to help them, but they cant depend on us forever. no one can depend on anyone for ever. not even a child and a parent...one day, the kid will move out on their own. one day, the parent will die...everyone dies. who know's if there is a heaven or hell? not me, not anyone. so it doesnt matter if we're religious or not..we'll all die. and should suicide be a sin? no..its just an easier way out of life. should being gay be a sin? no. its not their fault they have feelings for the same gender. it doesnt matter if u r gay, str8t, bi, or lez...u love someone and u cant help it. and when they turn u away, it hurts..i know. u think they might be ur only chance, the only one who u can love, and they turn u away. they simply say, "oh, well thats another person." and roll over and go to sleep. and u just lay there in the dark thinking, 'what do i do now?' u think...and then the sad realization hits u. no matter what u do, their feelings might never change. And in the way they said it they couldve been more harsh...and now, my friend has a boyfriend. She blows me off ofr him. she ignores me to go see him. it hurts.