09 Jan 11 6:05 pm
Malcom's Rubber Room
Same time period, lost poem found behind furniture...

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Will I play the game on my sons?
and how do we make girls women?sugar and spice and everything nice
and then the spotlight
in a woods
where a mom is
and a father dies
and what happens to their kids?
when
instead my specter
tells of her
and me the way we used to be
the book be Camelot
and my pen Excalibur
the way she shines, the way I saw her

Soulmate, I am only something
because the way you were
made me who I am today
and yet you do shine
to the children's chagrin
that without their dad
they'll know how a man's supposed to be
by seeing how I was
the way a man isn't
they'll be in awe like me
that mom soft and fat
the love handles that grew awry
because I couldn't handle love
to make her Ferrari purr
like the special metal their motors are made of
how we were not concerned if the coke was cut or not
because it didn't matter
for they came to drugs with us
and though it seemed to them
we laced them dopes with soul

I will tell you how to raise a boy
for now I know how they raised me
I am not from America
I am not from Europe
I belong nowhere
somewhere in between
Atlantis
for I have skipped the pond
and I knew not how to be
so they made me in the image of defaced continents
with a cross on a tree
and resin in a bowl
like a pine needle from last year points North.

This is from where I came
this cone, these seeds that'll fall out of me
when I took myself
to throw away
and something took me
from the gutter
to give me second wind
to see who I was
how I became a man

I can't tell you
and though I see
through the drama that made me
it doesn't mean that I am not.
I will tell you then
since I have time
birthday cards from Boston
a mom who had wheels
like a statue
a fixture there
and then not
a cross around the neck
gotta get ridden of
for only a man wrote them cards
and it seemed wrong
and where has mom gone
to make me yearn for a new womb

Then the planet of women
be it Lesbos
could conquer that place
and make men not an Ace
but a King
and just a walk
around a block
make a woman want a man
but not me
to time travel back
this time with a dog
as she hugs him
I see her lens bend to me
how many hugs like this have I received?

I am the statue
with arms that don't receive
but stares and not hugs
or kisses
just dentists
and what ifs
women had courage?

Polarize the young
kill the children
to make them fight for the one
not to be touched
and in the power of being free
they succumb to him
to feel like a clown prez
who everyone votes for
for no one wants to be
the man shot down
a nation of cowards
as am I

I saw the morning sun
on the street from above
and the rubber room was empty
Malcom was gone
but I remembered what he taught me
to keep the human race alive
that in order to sort the future
our present aborted
leagues of men not straight
but with aim like keel of ship
boys would be men soon
mom comes back
and no one wants to be who they are
so we fight as a clan
to make a man
from which all will come from again
said Malcom.