Okay, I will check it out. That one was more so me trying to practice drawing in the art style, so I drew myself quickly. The actual characters look different and are technically aliens.

Yeah, I was speaking generally. I consider myself quite sexual minded as well, and even a bit perverse. Like, in this gothic fantasy I am creating, it didn’t take me long to start sexualizing some of the characters already. I love the King protagonist in particular. I drew him so well. Anyway, enough with that, I am getting better and even good at not suppressing thoughts. Which would be quite good for me.

I think men, at least subconsciously, are more sexually tempted than women definitely. I can’t deny I have a bias in thinking of men more sexually provacative in terms of mentality towards the opposite sex. Yeah, will not lie, I often have a secret admiration for older men. Perhaps their maturity and development compared to the more infantile men of my age. They are also more likely to be muscular. It is something I pushed down often however. As it sounded too “typical” and I was internally misogynistic too, I suppose. Probably still have issues with that.

That is true. I even get paranoid around grown men automatically at this point lol. Or, categorizing people in my head. I struggle with seeing others full humanity, but I am getting better. One instance that helped was almost ghosting, in real life, a friend and her revealing she wanted to just say hi to me and wasn’t being passive aggressive after all

I guess so. I was also thinking, knowing me, to perhaps make amendments to my worldview. Perhaps I think people are more evil than they are, and hence I assume the worst of them. I have been hurt many times, so have others. So I guess moving forward, not only acknowledging my own hypocrisy, but also relearning the virtues of humanity.

Yeah, I often project my own poor tendencies and intentions at times on others and think they are like that all the time. Recently, I have been better at spotting this, but the projection, anger, resentment, etc is still very well real. I just seem to lack faith in people being good intentioned. Even the slightest sign of disrespect causes thorough burning on the inside and I can get livid.

I always seemed to lack the ability to accurately assess the inner world and subjective of who I talk/interact with. I used to think I was an empath too, but I am starting to learn I am quite the opposite. I wish I had a therapist, or something, but I am way too strapped for that. Let’s just say, I am getting there, for better empathy and less projection.

One of my worst issues. I don’t know how to turn it off