I'm in love, but not for long.

...

Let me pour my blood and tears into these words
Let me show you how it feels under the blade
Watch me shake and cry and you not be able to do anything
Watch me lose control again
Listen to my cries of pain
Listen to my anguish
This is my teen angst
This is my nightmare
This is you and me
Me and you
We have nothing
Lies don't hide the truth
They paint them a lovely grey
Secrets don't fix faults
They conceal the cure
I promised not to do it again
I did it anyway
Hang your head and cry
The world feeds off your tears
I'd kill to see you fall
I'd fall to see you killed
This is a note to self
A self memo
A to do list

...

I've seen corpses more beautiful than you
Why cover up that face?
You look so plastic.
You and that facade...
How can you wear it?
They crowd around you
Tongues on the ground
But they don't know what you really look like
Oh so fraudulant
Oh so fake
You are a hazard to the truth
By the choices that you make.

...

Do not seek a smile from my lips
They are tainted by the loss I have gained
Notice how I won't look you in the eye?
My heart is yours and yours alone
Don't hand it back to me.
I told you it was for you.
Keep it.
I'll stitch myself up later.
The fragments of my mind still have to be replaced.
The ones I had are numb and faded.
Denial.
My innocence is in anguish.

...

Your words are a window to a whole new world.
Happiness is an emotion you have unlocked for me.
Knowing I return the feeling to you is satisfaction enough.
I don't need magic when I have you.
My clouds always have a silver lining.

...

I learned that your final breath
Should be used to say an 'I love you'
That said, I'll save mine.
Just for you.
You asked for me...
Here I am.
I'm not going to throw myself at your feet.
But I'm going to hold your hand...
Let you take the last few steps to me.

I love you

I had you
You slipped through my finger tips
Simply beyond my grasp
I was just not what you needed
It just shows how vulnerable
Ive become
And some would think that
I held on a little too tight
I only wanted you to be happy
The spark faded as my tears fell
Smothered the flame that kept us warm
What could have made me think
Someone of your status
Could ever feel the same for me?
Please dont get me wrong
Im waiting for you to cut the ties
Take a step back, or come into my arms
I dont wish to lose you
There is a thin line between life and death
My darling...
Tonight you decide which side I remain on.

...

You dont know the feeling
Standing infront of that glass
Wondering if youre good enough
To be seen
Wondering if to everyones eyes
Youre as pretty as you
Wish to be
Clothed in my best
Prim and proper
I feel so exposed
Vulnerable to your insults
A pain that with time
Grows
Longing for your attention
I try to catch your eye
But your look is always cold
Where is that smile?
When did the good times go?
Im not what you want
But youre what I need.

...

My chilled skin melts
My heart rips in two
I saw my life flash before my eyes
And I never saw you
Into the afterlife
Waiting in the emptiness
Your touch would be welcomed now
As I sit in the darkness
Fingers of ice
Claw at your soul
Leaving you gasping for breath
They dump you down into the hole
And as you lay in the ground
Miles above your new home
Ill be waiting for company
Im tired of being alone.

...

Look to the sky
It will be your last chance
To wish upon a star
Ask for something youll never get
And in your last and final words
You request a smile
And sweetie Id love to give one to you
But Im not capable
Ive failed you yet again
I can see why you wanted to leave
And I was so selfish
I clung to you
I wouldnt let you go
But now your tear filled eyes and hollow lungs
Prove whats happening now
Should have already been done

...

The news just came
We'll all die today
As the poison of our sins fall
Im sorry to say
Your grave bares no name
They'll forget the saint that they lost
The coffin, too small
For the ego you brought
Was eaten up by the flames.
Unfortunately, it's true
That you burned too
In the fire that took us away.
Father Christian so loyal
Mother Mary so pure
Watched as their prodogy fell.
From the ashes you crawled
To posess what was lost
And to punish the ones that weren't slain.
A sacrifice to yourself
Yet you still weren't impressed
There was still one more life to be claimed.
You hated the thought
That your body would rot
While the one you loved would feel no pain.
So here once again
You sided with sin
And destroyed your angel with no regret.
Journey back you must
To regain the trust
Of the loved one you murdered today.