You jump from one to another
Always holding three or more
A cacophony of oxytocin
You try and hide your codependency
It's unhealthy
It's unwanted
It's too much
Wading on oceans of serotonin
Because you're more afraid of being alone than you are of being unlovable
What is wrong with you
Happiest when you're drowning in endorphins but it's never enough
You're never enough
You never were enough
You'll never be enough for yourself
You can't love yourself and that's the saddest fact staring you in the face
The smallest bit of criticism sends you spiraling into the dredges of self loathing and hate
Barreling at you faster than you can put the flames out until you're covered in ash and breathing in sulfur
And again, you're the annoyance
You're too much to handle
You can't even handle yourself
So you'll continue grasping at cups of dopamine hoping that one day you'll be satiated
And you won't have to continue killing yourself wishing you could
Just
Be
Happy