I've been single for far too long, and I want someone new I guess, but that's kinda why brittany and I didn't work because I was too busy working at the haunted house, and tanya broke up with me because she's now technically a slut as she put it in her words, and chelsea broke up with because she didn't know what she wanted. I told brittany to wait, but she told me as long as I was doing band shit and looking for a job, then she'd wait, and not going around dating anyone, and yeah she waited, for like two days. I hadn't even got jon yet and then she stops. I'm still working on band shit, I'm still looking for a job, and I'm still single. do I enjoy it? no. because there's no point to it. nothing to get my mind going on whatever. not been able to think of any new poetry really, been posting shit I already wrote for the last chapter. but I'm still only half way done with the last chapter. I need 35 more and then I can call it quits. but I think it's been like this before, towards the end of chapter 8. and didn't get easier, but I keep going through stress. one new stress after another. maybe I attract all sorts of bad shit. that's probably what everyone saw in me when they named me satan. because they saw the evil and insanity locked in my heart. and they saw no good no weakness. only cold and hatred for everything around me. maybe that's why my band's element is so fucking dark and depraved.