um, well, if he can come to peace with himself, instead of having the pressure of having to please gods eyes, then maybe he can function without the conscience of god. I know that I have had to be on my best behavior lately because whatever I do my kids will do while i am still in the rebirth process, and so no drinking no coffee, no cigs, no sex, no looking at women, all of it, I have to be a saint, but a saint in jail. Anyways, this is why I can commiserate with his pressure. The point of life is to find what brings you happiness and to do it, and not feel bad about our animals, because we are really only pleasure beings, that is all that is allowed really, if you have a brain they get rid of you so you might as well have fun. Deny ourselves pleasure doesn't make us higher beings, it goes against the directives of the higher power to procreate. Procreation is done through sex, and I know you got your demons, and so you like to be pure, but eventually kink is kink and fetish is fetish, and we will all explode and do what we wnat when we want. I know I am sitting on a powder keg of dynamite sexuality. Your ex's abuse of you may have been this powder keg thing, and what ever is repressed has to be expressed. kristen there are no good men, they are all evil, look at me, all I am is a good evil, which is rare, but at least your man was trying, he just didn't follow god's directive and give you a kid and that is why he failed you and him and god. You know it is true. I don't care what about your slight momness from your artistic mother, I don't care that the human race there is somethijng wrong with everyone, I just fucked up really bad in bed doing the Jesus spell, and so I don't know if my kids are going to be restless, I am really trying, we can only do our best.


What you didn't like my pool fight story? Yeah I am living with my father, might be going to New Mexico soon in May. I am fine, but I would like to be perfect, it is funny, now I got the ostrich feather over my head going the other way, as in the Egyptian mythology for signaling women I am ready to make kids. You know i really liked my hair, they fucked with me a little too much. I can still make boys, but i pretty much have to sit on eggs this weekend.

Don't let any man be abusive to you physically or even worse psychologically. There is no excuse for men being stronger picking on women. I might not even know what to do with a woman when I do nail one to my cross, I mean one time, Tamara and I were like on a date, like she was my woman, and I met these guys in the street, and I said hey man I got the most amazing woman inside, do you want to meet her.

His name was Fast, so I hooked up Fast with Tamara right at the bar and I stood a stool or two away from their conversation, of course I was so sure she loved me I could let other guys talk to her, it was stupid, like she was a car I was going to let a friend test drive....

I mean, if I am so smart and talented, and I don't know how to play the POker game, I mean, what about other guys? They don't deal from positions of power, so they heartlessly dominate and try to keep girls under their thumbs, and that is not love, that is fear. I am fine, I will make 4 boys before it is all said and done, and they will be pros in whatever they decide to do, they get all that I refused, maybe they too will be stupid talented men that are happy just looking at a cake in the window.