David Vaccaro: hey
Rachele Williams: hey
David Vaccaro: so
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: &&&&&&&& created a tempest here when I chatted with her
David Vaccaro: and there is a residual electrical storm still firing in th esky
David Vaccaro: we chatted all after noon
Rachele Williams: oh ok that sounds fun
David Vaccaro: the sky is at war
David Vaccaro: yeah women blow my mind
Rachele Williams: yeah they sometimes can do that
David Vaccaro: my head has been up her ass for the longest
Rachele Williams: haha
David Vaccaro: the sky is confused
David Vaccaro: our energy
Rachele Williams: i see
David Vaccaro: amazing
Rachele Williams: yes it is
David Vaccaro: she was sad
David Vaccaro: so I came to her
Rachele Williams: yeah i am sad too
David Vaccaro: immediately
David Vaccaro: why?
David Vaccaro: talk to me
Rachele Williams: hold on a sec
Rachele Williams: ok
Rachele Williams: meh just lonely
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: that is a temporary condition
David Vaccaro: and if you feel lonely enough it never happens again
David Vaccaro: life doesn't always suck
Rachele Williams: it's just i don't know anyone here and i miss having friends
Rachele Williams: yeah i know it doesn't
David Vaccaro: oh
David Vaccaro: well
Rachele Williams: i'm pretty happy most of the time
David Vaccaro: yup
Rachele Williams: just now is a bit hard
David Vaccaro: yeah well
David Vaccaro: love yourself
David Vaccaro: do the right thing
Rachele Williams: i do love myself
David Vaccaro: show love
David Vaccaro: actions
David Vaccaro: women are always with child
David Vaccaro: like they have invisible beings hanging on them
David Vaccaro: and
David Vaccaro: they go about their day
David Vaccaro: doing what has to be done
David Vaccaro: men sit around and jerk off in the dark
David Vaccaro: women are of the light
David Vaccaro: they make life happen
David Vaccaro: like the thunderstorm of light
David Vaccaro: women make that happen
Rachele Williams: yeah
David Vaccaro: so
David Vaccaro: just know that the god power is always watching you
David Vaccaro: and you are never alone
David Vaccaro: if it rains it is because of you
David Vaccaro: i you are the hottest girl in the land
David Vaccaro: you are the one that makes the countryside wet
David Vaccaro: so
David Vaccaro: if nature knows you exist
David Vaccaro: you are not really alone
Rachele Williams: yeah, thank you... you really know how to make a girl feel special
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: yes
David Vaccaro: in fact
David Vaccaro: you made it rain terribly once or twice here
David Vaccaro: but not as wet as sunspots
David Vaccaro: and less lightnings
David Vaccaro: but
David Vaccaro: that is because I try to see you in a diferent light
David Vaccaro: and her it is full on attraction
David Vaccaro: the rain doesn't even want to rain when I talk to you
David Vaccaro: you move me anyways
David Vaccaro: regardless
David Vaccaro: one drop two drops three
David Vaccaro: and then drizzle
David Vaccaro: and puddles
David Vaccaro: you know
David Vaccaro: forget it
David Vaccaro: I was gonna tell you to turn Paul into a god
Rachele Williams: no no i get what you are saying
Rachele Williams: and i am "listening"
David Vaccaro: so you can experience all this
Rachele Williams: how do i turn paul into a god?
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: yeah
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: it ain't pretty
Rachele Williams: ok... so?
David Vaccaro: you have to break his heart
Rachele Williams: what?
David Vaccaro: hurt him
Rachele Williams: no
Rachele Williams: i can't do that
David Vaccaro: make him want you more
Rachele Williams: how?
David Vaccaro: until he kills himself
David Vaccaro: and then when he comes back from the dead
David Vaccaro: and rises from hell
David Vaccaro: by your memory
David Vaccaro: all this will happen
Rachele Williams: i'm speachless
David Vaccaro: he will be a demi god because of your love
David Vaccaro: nature
Rachele Williams: but i love him too much to hurt him
David Vaccaro: yeah
David Vaccaro: but Tamara loved me enough to not to be with me and to turn me into my destined form
David Vaccaro: because the rain must flow and lightning must strike
Rachele Williams: are you saying i shouldn't be with him?
David Vaccaro: only the most powerful loves get like that
David Vaccaro: I am saying that
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: you love him as best as you can
David Vaccaro: and if it falls aprt
David Vaccaro: if he loved you real enough
David Vaccaro: then he will physically die
David Vaccaro: and then reborn
David Vaccaro: but there is alot of pain
David Vaccaro: so
David Vaccaro: either way
David Vaccaro: love drives the earth
David Vaccaro: and the earth knows it
David Vaccaro: if people are alone or not
David Vaccaro: the earth feels it
David Vaccaro: like
David Vaccaro: I am sure your sexuality is so strong
David Vaccaro: like with your loneliness right now
David Vaccaro: if you stepped out side now
David Vaccaro: the way the atmosphere smells around your house is because of you
David Vaccaro: women are the force of nature
David Vaccaro: men are the electrical socket
David Vaccaro: you should go out and see the mirror of the sky what god thinks of you
David Vaccaro: you are a goddess
David Vaccaro: you should go out
David Vaccaro: the animals crawl around the house they know not why
David Vaccaro: they are intrigued
David Vaccaro: confused
David Vaccaro: yuo control their little minds
David Vaccaro: I am sure of it
David Vaccaro: I thought you were a little girl
David Vaccaro: but it is said you have a full body
David Vaccaro: your hormones must be
Rachele Williams: yes that i do
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: expressive
Rachele Williams: yes
Rachele Williams: they are
David Vaccaro: and that is the honey energy
David Vaccaro: that
David Vaccaro: is
David Vaccaro: powerful
David Vaccaro: the mother energy
Rachele Williams: haha well my aunt dog chews up my underwear if he gets the chance to
David Vaccaro: your sexuality
David Vaccaro: oh
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: hmmm
Rachele Williams: it
Rachele Williams: it's kinda gross lol
David Vaccaro: oh
Rachele Williams: he licks the damn things to death
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: i imagine thereis afragrance
David Vaccaro: I smelled tamaras panties once
David Vaccaro: I didn't liekthe patern it was like
David Vaccaro: animal print
Rachele Williams: oh
David Vaccaro: black and white
David Vaccaro: but I held them to my face
Rachele Williams: i like leopard print myself lol
David Vaccaro: because I loved her
David Vaccaro: enough to die for
Rachele Williams: that's how i feel about paul, and the things you just told me are scaring me so bad
David Vaccaro: the earth would die without love and fascination
David Vaccaro: why fear nature?
Rachele Williams: it's nature for me to hurt him and let him die?
Rachele Williams: and then what becomes of it after he is "reborn" as you say?
David Vaccaro: things run their course
David Vaccaro: true love is nothing
David Vaccaro: it is brave love that wins hearts and keeps gold gold
David Vaccaro: true love is for losers
David Vaccaro: if a partner stands by the other
David Vaccaro: an the love is true
David Vaccaro: no one dies
David Vaccaro: brave love
David Vaccaro: brave true love
David Vaccaro: no one is brave
David Vaccaro: you stand by your man
David Vaccaro: but if he is to be the great writer that he is meant to be'
David Vaccaro: you have to drive him crazy enough to forsake the whole world
David Vaccaro: for when a man throws the entire world away for one woman
David Vaccaro: he gets more than he lost in the beginning - you only get the world if you don't want it
David Vaccaro: he may never get her back
David Vaccaro: but the dream is so strong
David Vaccaro: it can reanimate him
David Vaccaro: just like the power of hate is a driving force
David Vaccaro: so is the power of lost true love
David Vaccaro: romeo and juliet is just the beginning of a story
David Vaccaro: they both die in that one
David Vaccaro: goth lovers are idiots
David Vaccaro: it is a cycle of killing each other in the name of love
David Vaccaro: love so strong
David Vaccaro: his force over you
David Vaccaro: that you cannot let it overhwelm you
David Vaccaro: you can't admit it
David Vaccaro: you fear him
David Vaccaro: and so you remain alone
David Vaccaro: and brooding wondering what might have been is a condition
David Vaccaro: he is like that anyways
David Vaccaro: he has got that kind of love energy
David Vaccaro: it is a sickness
David Vaccaro: dark
David Vaccaro: people never think they are good enough for their object of affection
David Vaccaro: they put the other on a pedastal
David Vaccaro: tamara always used to make me watch her go to the bathroom
David Vaccaro: to show me she was human
David Vaccaro: always
Rachele Williams: hah
David Vaccaro: in th ebathroom with her
David Vaccaro: so I could love her real
David Vaccaro: flesh real
Rachele Williams: you know, for my mental condition, this has just about killed me, and i just can't handle this
Rachele Williams: you have litterally just described my greatest fear
David Vaccaro: ewhat?
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: you do not die at the point of no return
Rachele Williams: i just can't get paul dying out of my head
David Vaccaro: it is a death of theheart in the metapysical
Rachele Williams: but i love him, why would i leave him?
David Vaccaro: and when the heart loses it's desire to live the body decides to stop living
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: brave
David Vaccaro: you have to be brave
David Vaccaro: remember that
David Vaccaro: admit who you love
David Vaccaro: follow your heart
Rachele Williams: i love paul
Rachele Williams: that is my heart
David Vaccaro: and you will both be safe
David Vaccaro: people are cowards
David Vaccaro: yeah
David Vaccaro: so what are you what are you worried about?
Rachele Williams: him dying
David Vaccaro: well
Rachele Williams: i think anyone would be worried about losing a loved one
Rachele Williams: i have lost a lot in my life already... not him too
David Vaccaro: you don't have to worry about a lover dying
David Vaccaro: never worry about that
David Vaccaro: it is impossible for a lover to die
Rachele Williams: well what should i think of what you have said?
David Vaccaro: he can die yes
David Vaccaro: but the power of love can bring a man back from the dead
David Vaccaro: I styill lov tamara
Rachele Williams: but if i love him... how would i hurt him... this i don't understand
David Vaccaro: I am not supposed to
David Vaccaro: and she to me
David Vaccaro: also
David Vaccaro: but we will always
David Vaccaro: only what you love can hurt you
David Vaccaro: things you feel nothng for have no effect
Rachele Williams: this is true
Rachele Williams: but what is something that i would do to hurt him enough to die?
David Vaccaro: tyhe casualties of love
David Vaccaro: everymans heart is different
David Vaccaro: peoples fears come true
David Vaccaro: you have to conquer fear
David Vaccaro: and be brave
David Vaccaro: that the power of love will override
David Vaccaro: the power of love wins in the end anyways
David Vaccaro: it is a wave
David Vaccaro: a love wave
Rachele Williams: i have to wonder what will become of me if he dies
David Vaccaro: women tend to have more loves than men
David Vaccaro: they have on emore love
David Vaccaro: a guy 3 a woman 4
Rachele Williams: no, not this time
Rachele Williams: i love no one else
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: the problem with him
Rachele Williams: if i am inlove with someone, there is no one else
David Vaccaro: he is the passionate type
Rachele Williams: i am too
Rachele Williams: i would die for love
David Vaccaro: becareful what you wish for
Rachele Williams: i am not wishing for it
David Vaccaro: you just said you would die for his love
David Vaccaro: that means it will be
David Vaccaro: will it
David Vaccaro: willed it
David Vaccaro: the passion spoke
Rachele Williams: you know, i think i need to go, this completely made my mental state even worse
David Vaccaro: well
Rachele Williams: i'm just going to go cry now
David Vaccaro: be brave
David Vaccaro: believe in love
Rachele Williams: brave for what? my loss?
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: fears come true
Rachele Williams: so i guess i shall not fear it then
David Vaccaro: you cannot let fear rule you
Rachele Williams: then*
David Vaccaro: you like the dark too much
David Vaccaro: I am telling you to think pink
David Vaccaro: it is about states of mind
David Vaccaro: you are black by your own admission
David Vaccaro: you must embrace pink
David Vaccaro: and be not afraid to be happy
David Vaccaro: happiness can be willed
Rachele Williams: i'm not afraid to be happy
Rachele Williams: i'm wearing pink now damnit lol
David Vaccaro: see
David Vaccaro: Goth will kill you
Rachele Williams: well i want and will be happy with paul
David Vaccaro: Goth is the desire to fuel the demi god death love drive
David Vaccaro: the passionate romeo and juliet death love
David Vaccaro: for that is goth
Rachele Williams: yes that is correct
David Vaccaro: so
David Vaccaro: you have to wake up and stop the cycle of killing perfect men
David Vaccaro: goth is a yearning
David Vaccaro: that is why you needed to talk to me
David Vaccaro: vampires go without
David Vaccaro: they don't want to hurt what they love
David Vaccaro: they don't drink their love blood
David Vaccaro: because they really care
David Vaccaro: you have to consume the love
David Vaccaro: two vampires feeding off each other like mosquitos
David Vaccaro: are not vampires any more
David Vaccaro: vampire lovers turn into flesh beings
David Vaccaro: everything else melts away
David Vaccaro: there is nothing more powerful than the bond between 2 lovers'
David Vaccaro: and goth lovers have more power only because it is dark
David Vaccaro: and that recreates the light
Rachele Williams: i have a question?
Rachele Williams: does he love me?
David Vaccaro: you are a made bed'
David Vaccaro: he will make you unmade
David Vaccaro: if he loves you in a state of disrepair
Rachele Williams: a made bed? what do you mean?
David Vaccaro: you are perfect
David Vaccaro: a closed book
Rachele Williams: and he is not?
David Vaccaro: I see you and not him
Rachele Williams: i am not perfect i assure you
David Vaccaro: I don't look at men that way
David Vaccaro: yeah
David Vaccaro: well
Rachele Williams: i have my faults just like anyone else
David Vaccaro: welll
David Vaccaro: it is the faults in our lovers that we love
Rachele Williams: this is true
David Vaccaro: that is what makes us whole
David Vaccaro: this is a good convo
Rachele Williams: i mean i know without a doubt i love him, but the question is... does he me?
David Vaccaro: you are just scared
Rachele Williams: yes i am scared
David Vaccaro: every lover fears that
David Vaccaro: that is natrual
David Vaccaro: I respect you
David Vaccaro: so he must
David Vaccaro: I am more poweful than him
David Vaccaro: and if I admire your power then he is your slave
Rachele Williams: hmm
Rachele Williams: oh sorry
Rachele Williams: but how is he my slave?
David Vaccaro: worship
David Vaccaro: pedastal
Rachele Williams: but why should i be held up by anyone else?
Rachele Williams: i am his equal
David Vaccaro: love is blind
Rachele Williams: we complete eachother, one no better than the other
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: I don't have the answer
David Vaccaro: mystery
Rachele Williams: just thought i'd ask
David Vaccaro: love is a mysery
Rachele Williams: i admire him in some ways though
Rachele Williams: and i am sure he admires me in some ways as well
David Vaccaro: just wait the man you make him
David Vaccaro: people need another to live
David Vaccaro: reason to be
Rachele Williams: well, i have a lot of love to give, and in this life... he will know what it is like to be loved, really loved
David Vaccaro: hmm
David Vaccaro: yeah
David Vaccaro: well overtures can't stop you know
David Vaccaro: love is a fire
David Vaccaro: talk is talk
David Vaccaro: love is a verb
Rachele Williams: yes i know
Rachele Williams: actually it's a noun
David Vaccaro: no
David Vaccaro: not in my book
Rachele Williams: hmm
David Vaccaro: you cannot possess love the noun
David Vaccaro: if you think you have it you lose it
David Vaccaro: that is the first law of love
David Vaccaro: so to love him as a verb
David Vaccaro: is the only way to keep the noun form
Rachele Williams: makes sense
David Vaccaro: the verb makes the noun happen
Rachele Williams: yes they are the actions
David Vaccaro: well I think
Rachele Williams: well when i see him, which is going to be soon, we shall see what happens
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: be a good witch
Rachele Williams: a what?
Rachele Williams: what do you mean by that?
David Vaccaro: spells
David Vaccaro: haven't you been in love
David Vaccaro: ?
David Vaccaro: seduction is magic
David Vaccaro: it is magic
Rachele Williams: i was in love once, yes
David Vaccaro: so
David Vaccaro: put the right spell on him
David Vaccaro: make sure you love him for him
David Vaccaro: not selfish love
Rachele Williams: i will
David Vaccaro: loneliness is nothing to fear
Rachele Williams: so far i like everything about him
David Vaccaro: people need to own someone because they fear being alone
Rachele Williams: i don;t want to own him
David Vaccaro: yeah
David Vaccaro: then he is yours
Rachele Williams: i am not afraid to be alone, i like my independence
David Vaccaro: if you want to own him then he isn't yours
Rachele Williams: i wish not to own him
David Vaccaro: then he is yours
David Vaccaro: you can only own him in not owning him
Rachele Williams: well he is a human being with free will, i would od nothing ot get in teh way of that
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: one true spell
David Vaccaro: is to love yourself like i said in the first senetnce
David Vaccaro: do the right thing
Rachele Williams: mm hmm
David Vaccaro: I said
Rachele Williams: and i do love myself, and i have been brave before and given someone up because i knew it was the right thing to do
David Vaccaro: from the beginning
Rachele Williams: brave*
David Vaccaro: because fear of loss of love is loneliness
David Vaccaro: yeah
David Vaccaro: love yourself for no reason
David Vaccaro: then you have esteem and you can be loved'
David Vaccaro: love is stupid
Rachele Williams: love is also very blind
David Vaccaro: stupidly love yourself as a verb
David Vaccaro: you but then you begin to see who you love
David Vaccaro: and you see he is not a god
David Vaccaro: flesh and blood
David Vaccaro: and only a potential vampire
David Vaccaro: potential god
David Vaccaro: and
David Vaccaro: you like how he
David Vaccaro: does things
Rachele Williams: yes i do
David Vaccaro: you notice
David Vaccaro: the quirks
Rachele Williams: yes
David Vaccaro: what makes him him
Rachele Williams: definitely
David Vaccaro: all the little things
David Vaccaro: then love is not blind
Rachele Williams: i treasure all the little things about him
David Vaccaro: alright on your way
David Vaccaro: there is nothing to be sad
Rachele Williams: ok
Rachele Williams: well thank you
David Vaccaro: the first love spell is on yourself
Rachele Williams: ok
David Vaccaro: and when we started you didn't have that aura going on
David Vaccaro: because you didn't know the rules
David Vaccaro: what can go wrong
David Vaccaro: so
Rachele Williams: this is true
David Vaccaro: but love is a book that never ends
David Vaccaro: but
David Vaccaro: we put the book down in between chapters because we cherish the book
David Vaccaro: don't let the down time last too long
David Vaccaro: don't let the break up last too long
Rachele Williams: break up?
David Vaccaro: chomp at the bit
David Vaccaro: yeah
Rachele Williams: oh i am chopping at the bit, trust me
David Vaccaro: love is a dance through the seasons
Rachele Williams: maybe a little too much
Rachele Williams: lmao
David Vaccaro: love without passion is no love at all
Rachele Williams: no it isn't
David Vaccaro: so
Rachele Williams: and i have had empty love
David Vaccaro: passion burns
Rachele Williams: it wasn't even love
David Vaccaro: you will feel like you love him more than he loves you
David Vaccaro: and you get hurt
David Vaccaro: because you are not loved with your expectations of love
David Vaccaro: and this ruins the love
Rachele Williams: i think this time i will be
David Vaccaro: selfish love agian
David Vaccaro: love true love has no want
Rachele Williams: i think he can show me what i need to be shown
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: if you love yourself
Rachele Williams: i trust him
David Vaccaro: I am not sure you love yourself fully
David Vaccaro: but he will make you a believer in you
David Vaccaro: the first love is self
Rachele Williams: he needs to love himself too
David Vaccaro: and we need the other to get the first love
David Vaccaro: you make each other
Rachele Williams: he doesn't like my complimets because he feels they are false
David Vaccaro: of course you see how deep love is
David Vaccaro: I could keep showing you dynamics
David Vaccaro: and the crystal ball
David Vaccaro: people think I have not loved
David Vaccaro: but I know these things clear
David Vaccaro: because I have paid the price
David Vaccaro: the dyng for it
David Vaccaro: your need is too strong
David Vaccaro: you rely on him to make you whole too much
David Vaccaro: are you really independent?
David Vaccaro: he doesn't think you are independent
Rachele Williams: i am
David Vaccaro: I am not convinced
David Vaccaro: the man that knows you best thinks you will act like a little girl and need attention all the time'
David Vaccaro: wondering what he is thinking
David Vaccaro: and do this together and do that
David Vaccaro: he is an artist
Rachele Williams: so am i
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: we will talk about that later
David Vaccaro: because it interests me but that is separate from the convo
Rachele Williams: well ok
David Vaccaro: so is your heart better now?
Rachele Williams: yes
David Vaccaro: well what the hell are you talking to me for then?
Rachele Williams: because i like too
David Vaccaro: oh
Rachele Williams: to*
Rachele Williams: yeah
David Vaccaro: um
David Vaccaro: yeah
Rachele Williams: and i really don't need his attention all the time
Rachele Williams: i like to do things for myself
Rachele Williams: i like my alone time
David Vaccaro: well I don't mind women for their being that way
David Vaccaro: the world revolves around them,
David Vaccaro: it is just Paul, he is a serious artist by nature
Rachele Williams: hah, yeah i get like that sometimes, but not all the time
David Vaccaro: and I am an artist by failed love
David Vaccaro: so
David Vaccaro: he is mor independent
Rachele Williams: yes that he is
Rachele Williams: he is extremely independent
David Vaccaro: I have learned to live on my own because of the failure of love
David Vaccaro: but that is his mode of being
David Vaccaro: he almost doesn't want to give up the thought process he has
David Vaccaro: the moment of being an artist
Rachele Williams: well i want him to be independent, but it would aslo be nice if it felt like he needed me too
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: people can say things
David Vaccaro: but it is in the doing that the chips fall where they may
Rachele Williams: yeah
David Vaccaro: I don't know if he can love you according to your expectations
David Vaccaro: I will say this
David Vaccaro: the way you need to be loved
David Vaccaro: will not happen
David Vaccaro: love is an estimation
David Vaccaro: because we cannot read each others minds
David Vaccaro: and we cannot tell the other what we need
Rachele Williams: i know that, and i'm ok with it
Rachele Williams: that's why communication is the most important thing in any relationship
David Vaccaro: we expect them to know our fairy tale
Rachele Williams: well i've given up on those
Rachele Williams: it's not logical
David Vaccaro: yeah but communicating demands of how you wish to be loved breaks the independence and the freedom of being in love
David Vaccaro: it is what it is
Rachele Williams: well we shall see
Rachele Williams: i'm sure i will be quite satisfied with paul though
David Vaccaro: you should print out this talk make a pamphlet and be the love doctor
Rachele Williams: and i'm sure we will both learn a lot from eachother
David Vaccaro: well
David Vaccaro: I have told you too much
David Vaccaro: but I said
David Vaccaro: I am making you a domme
David Vaccaro: so you have control
David Vaccaro: if you have control
David Vaccaro: then nothing can go wrong
David Vaccaro: you have to be in control
Rachele Williams: yes
David Vaccaro: and be a natural dominant
Rachele Williams: i will remember that
David Vaccaro: but women ar enot nastrual dommes
David Vaccaro: non eof them are
Rachele Williams: this is true
David Vaccaro: love then is an act
Rachele Williams: although, i have been more times than not
David Vaccaro: the fucken washing machine belt is making a bad sound
Rachele Williams: aww
David Vaccaro: go and be free this is enoguh
Rachele Williams: ok
David Vaccaro: you have seen the future
Rachele Williams: thank you
Rachele Williams: for your help
David Vaccaro: yup
David Vaccaro: bye
Rachele Williams: bye