I think there are better ways to rebuild mankind's genetic pool without
coming to grips with false info, paranoia, misinformation, humiliation, the desire for money to fester,

the whole indidivual they tried to save changes, yeah I have gotten immeasurably better, in countless ways, but, even though I will always be me in the core, when you find out your brother had scoliosis because you stole yourself out of him, when you find you speak like your step father because you gave him diabetes, and your fathers dick was lost due to you, it is overwhelming, you wonder if it is better to let life falter than to steal lifdeforces from the ones who made you.

The you find out things like I gave my soulmate a baby without having sex with her, that her sister's child is mine, that I have a boy um 11 now, that three girls on the street or at least two of them are yours, that my brother had a twin whom has had children in case I don't make it, that my brother Unto went mad trying to save Europe and failed, that the world's fate rests on your shoulders. They couldn't have picked a better man Kristen, I mean when I came up with the vampire cure, the white blood cell elixir in one night that gave me the most advanced immune system on the planet that keeps evolving, and the most thick brain, that I could have healed so many more illnesses than I figured I did,

um, I am so strong that when my dick dipped in the toliet to pull up all the communal germs in a toliet in a park by the water, you walk away, almost not even washing your hands because you know it was meant to happen and those bacteria are gonna be killed off because my brain made this body, to be fitter than the rest, even though I was so close to death, and even this morning I almost perished again, but I didn't panic even though the spider veins hit my left and then right inside part of the elbows. I may have messed up, but I knew everytime I screw up I pave it over better than before, so I am never scared, and yet those veins turning purple did freak me out, they spread way too fast.

If such a premium is placed on being normal, perfect, natural and pure, then why do I have to go to the leangths of travelling to all the places I have ever been like a chicken without its head to collect body parts like a zombie, mindless.

Fortunately, when I am in the street, the street people come up, take me to a roof top show me the stars and teach me the code to save myself in 3 months, and then, apply all that I have ever learned in New LOndon, or whereever I had been running from my blood, only to find it is best in my bed, and then even to run from there too, because my heart is all over the place.

David, I know it is crazy, but life is crazy, and no I am not interested in writing about this, if I do this right, all can be forgotten, and that is the idea, to bring peace to the earth, to end war, to make all people rise regardless of their sexuality ideology, and individuality or lack thereof.

It doesn't matter, I am gonna do it right, and maybe I have, but I will not be satisfied until I am free to survive without any panic whatso ever, I do not wish to have to run arund and piecemeal myself together, that is not life, and I want this to end. I am tired and I want to walk to the water to look at it for me not to save me, or to ssave others, nor to have to fucken smoke something to make a part of my alive bran that is only 99% here 100%, when I know I can't be better.

I need closure.

Dave..