The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 424

A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck. 303

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!

My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast

Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.

I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.

My socks are having a party, do your pants want to come down?

There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one?

A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"

It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong!

Lets play carpenter. First we get hammered, then I'll nail you!

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too!

Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that!

If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

You know what would look good on you? Me!

Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty.

Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar!

I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.

Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth!

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.

Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
You turn my software into hardware!

Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I?

Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven?

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!

I own a rocket. First stop your moons, then Uranus!

Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!

I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!

Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is...

Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea!

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.

I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.

I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!

You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway.

[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!

Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers.

Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

If you were a booger I would pick you first.

Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?


I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK

Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed?

I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!

If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.

What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!

Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!!

Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed?

Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be?

Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice!

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed.

Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice.

Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed?

Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long.

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my ass, my G-String and you!

I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?

I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9?

Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?

Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

I'm gay, think you can convert me?

(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?

I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!

Bond....James Bond

Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven!

You don't sweat much for a fat chick.

If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.

Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me...


Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim.

Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.

Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.

Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away.

Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off.

We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready.

(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter.

I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!

Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.

Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all!

A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want."

Is your name mickey? because your so FINE!

(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me.