"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gunna get."

Chocolates, yeah right. If only it were that sweet. Life is more like the Raging Rapids at Kennywood. It's a fun ride, but sooner or later, you're going to end up being the one who gets caught in the waterfall. One good thing about that is, you can dry yourself off and continue on through the amusement park.

Chocolate...In end and out the other.

I guess Life finds it funny to throw things at us and see weather we get up or not. Pain, misery, despair. Sometimes, it's hard enough just to get out of bed in the morning, let alone go through a whole day.

And sometimes, Life just won't let you forget. Scars, media, dreams. Sometimes, it hurts to go on with something that is hard to forget, but that just makes a stronger person, a stronger soul.

So yeah, Life is pretty much like a Vampire novel. Good times, bad times, sex scenes.

But in the end, Death shows up at our doorstep. The pen drops, the keyboard stops, and the book ends.

Dear Dutch Chocolate Ice cream,
I know my stomach may not think so, but you are my savior. You keep me calm when i want to flip shit. You make most of (if not all) of the bad feelings go away. I love you so much. I want you in my life forever.
Yours truely,
Selena Autumn

James Albert Anderson:
Father, Brother, Friend;
I know that I haven't known you long, but you were like a grandpa to me. We'd watch golf. We'd laugh at their outfits. Heck, we'd even laugh at them. I'm always going to miss blowing you kisses, and drawing you pictures, and picking you flowers.
I'm always going to remember when i'd do something stupid like get marshmallow taffy all over me and my friends and i'd turn around to see you cracking up laughing at me. I remember how i'd put your glove on for you and then I'd turn around for five seconds and you'd be hollering for me to put it back on again. I still don't know how you managed to get it off that fast.
I still remember the time when you left to go to poker. You had your scooter out and everyting, but a few minutes later, you were hollering for me. Your scooter battery died! I had to push you all the way to the ramp and get you inside. Lucky for me, that never happened again.
I remember how i used to teach you your manners (and boy did I make you use them!) You'd have to say your please's and thank you's before you could get anything out of me.
James Anderson. I don't know what to say about you. You were a father, a brother, and a friend. But most of all, you were my grandpa. I will always remember you and love you. You were a fighter and a talker, but you are and always will be my grandpa. The same grandpa that i'd blow kisses to, and watch golf with, and pick flowers for.
I love you James Anderson.
May you rest in peace.
And don't forget to remember me.

that god damn mother fucking cock sucking clit licking cock pounding ass fucking son of a bitch
kay
that's my rant of the day

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 424

A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck. 303

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!

My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast

Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.

I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.

My socks are having a party, do your pants want to come down?

There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one?

A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"

It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong!

Lets play carpenter. First we get hammered, then I'll nail you!

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too!

Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that!

If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

You know what would look good on you? Me!

Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty.

Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar!

I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.

Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth!

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.

Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
You turn my software into hardware!

Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I?

Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven?

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!

I own a rocket. First stop your moons, then Uranus!

Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!

I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!

Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is...

Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea!

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.

I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.

I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!

You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway.

[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!

Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers.

Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

If you were a booger I would pick you first.

Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?


I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK

Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed?

I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!

If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.

What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!

Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!!

Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed?

Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be?

Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice!

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed.

Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice.

Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed?

Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long.

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my ass, my G-String and you!

I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?

I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9?

Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?

Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

I'm gay, think you can convert me?

(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?

I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!

Bond....James Bond

Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven!

You don't sweat much for a fat chick.

If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.

Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me...


Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim.

Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.

Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.

Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away.

Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off.

We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready.

(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter.

I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!

Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.

Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all!

A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want."

Is your name mickey? because your so FINE!

(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me.

Directions:
Mark which things you have done, then calculate your score by counting the number of questions you marked. This test is out of 100 questions which means that the number you get as your score is also your percentage. Re-post as "I am ___% stupid."

1. [x ] Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. [x] Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. [x] Broken a chair by leaning back in it.
4. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. [x] Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. [x] Had people tell you that you are blond when you're not, or had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. [x] Been caught staring at your crush by your crush
8. [x] Have looked for something for at least 5 min then realized it was in your hand
9. [x] Tried to push open a door that said pull
10.[x] Tried to pull open a door that said push
TOTAL: 10

11. [ x] Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion
12. [x] Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. [x] Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. [x ] Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. [ x] Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. [ x] Have had the juice from an orange out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. [x] Have had your drink come out your mouth because you were laughing so hard
19. [x] Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. [x ] Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
TOTAL: 20

21. [x] Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. [x ] Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. [x] Have run into a closed door
25. [x] Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. [x] It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. [ x] Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. [ ] Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. [x] Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. [x ] Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
TOTAL: 29

31. [x] After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. [x] Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. [x] Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. [ ] Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. [x] Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc when its on, even though you knew it was hot.
36. [x] Taken off your clothes to change into something else then accidentally put the old clothes back on.
37. [x] Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. [ x] Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. [x] Walked into a pole
40. [x] Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident/stolen someones shoes by accident
TOTAL: 38

41. [x] Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. [x] Tried to take a picture of someone's eye with the flash on
43. [x] Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. [ x] Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. [x] Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there, you forgot what it is was that you were going to do.
46. [x] Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. [x] Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. [x] Have poked yourself in the eye
49. [x ] Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. [x ] Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
TOTAL: 48

51. [x] Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. [x] Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. [x] Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. [x] Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was
55. [x] Told someone you were the wrong age
56. [x] Looked into an overhead purposefully while it was on
57. [x] Got up early and got ready for school/work, then realized that you didn't have school/work that day
58. [x] Forgot your own phone number
59. [ x] Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. [x] Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny
TOTAL: 58

61. [x] Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa.
62. [x] Said funner then had someone make fun of you for it
63. [x] Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. [x] Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. [x] Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one
66. [x] Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. [x] Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong.
68. [x] Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. [x ] Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
TOTAL: 67

71. [ x] When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face.
72. [x] Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. [x] Ran into a door jam
74. [x] Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. [x] Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. [ x] Have purposely licked playground sand
77. [ x] Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78.[x] Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. [x] Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. [x] Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would hurt
TOTAL: 78

81. [x] Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. [x] Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. [ x] Sat and wondered why men's dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. [x] Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. [x] Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. [ x] Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. [x ] Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked funny
88. [x ] When at a restaurant, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. [x ] Have flung forks at people in a restaurant
90. [ x] Tripped and made the waiter drop the food.
TOTAL: 88

91. [x] As you are writing, you move your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. [x] Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. [x] Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. [x] Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. [x] Have started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. [x] Read a whole book but during the whole book you weren’t even paying attention
97. [x] You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. [x] When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling
99. [x] Have used your calculator as a form of communication in a class
100.[ x] Have popped a balloon in your mouth
TOTAL: 98

i gotz mah pompoms today!!!!!!