Kerry is alive and home, but i hated being in the hospital.. especially cause i can't stand being near Dionne.
It isn't her fault, but it just hurts.
Joni shouted at me today (remember this Sakky. REMEMBER why you were crying on the stairs)
Aaron hasn't messaged me all day then i got "hey" around 40 minutes ago..
And i'm hurting cause Kieran should be spending the weekend with ME not Dionne..
I just wish he atleast missed me..
I'm a mess. Such a fucking mess.
Everything around me is fucked..
Fucked.. fucked.. fucked..

About half an hour after i posted this.. ^ :

Dionne tried to OD.. now Kerry.. I'm always the one who tries to fix things.. even when i never fucked them.. always fucking me. And people say i can talk to them but it's so damn hard when i'm this far gone.. so now i have 2 friends who've recently tried to die.. a boyfriend who also wants to die.. but no. I HAVE to stay. Everyone always fucking tells me i NEED to stay.. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I?! What because people "need" me to fucking fix all the broken things in their lives?! They need to to FIX things.. they don't need me just cause i'm sakky.. They say they do but they don't.. I don't even know who the FUCK sakky is anymore because nothing makes sense, everything hurts and i'm tired of wanting to die. I'm tired of fighting against EVERYTHING and having MORE shit thrown at me.. i can't fucking COPE with all this.. i am DONE with trying to convince myself i'm "strong".. and i'm FINISHED with lying to myself about being ANY inspiration to fucking ANYBODY at all. :'/