..this is just how i'm coping right now..
Because i'm crying a lot.. and nobody gives a shit and this helps.

"When i grow up i wanna be nothing at all."
Because all around me everyone is planning their futures.. even the ones who are struggling because they're like "oh ima fail this exam.. but be okay in this.. and next year i'm taking.." and i don't even know if ima be here tomorrow.
I mean i'm okay just now.. but this happens EVERY night to me.. every day i cry a few times due to numerous breakdowns.. and every night i sit here for hours, on my bed with me legs crossed and i cry.
And i tried sit ups.. they don't help. Music doesn't help. Talking doesn't help.
I guess typing is all i have.. because these thoughts.. i can't let them stay in my head.. No matter how much i struggle with the words.
But yeah.. everyone around me is planning SOME sort of future.. and then there's me.. and sure people care but it's hollow.. it only goes so far. And i appreciate the support that i'm offered, i really do, but despite everyone i'm still alone, i still feel empty.
When i grow up, i wanna be nothing at all.. because that's all i am right now.
Right now, i am nothing.