I want to try and explain something,
that has always remained obtuse.
I don't mean to sound obscure,
but its simply my mood.

Somewhere between six and nine,
I had an experience I can't replicate.
I woke up one morning, deep in the night,
I had to piss, or lord did I.

I stepped off the bed,
and fell into oblivion.

I awoke with a start,
laughing, scared.
I cautiously checked the floor,
to see if it was really there.
Felt sure footed, and foolish,
both feet down,
grabbed by nightmare claw's,
and torn to shred's.

I awoke again, feeling frightened, petrified,
for I had felt every single moment.
My skin shredding, my veins ripping, bones fracturing, organs crushed
blood blood blood blood blood everywhere.

I stayed, paralyzed, I didn't move.
The bunk above me collapsed,
crushed my breast, my chest.
Lung's caved in, blew like balloons.
I died, I died, I died again.

For a millennium or two
maybe for all of time.
I died, and died, and died and died and died.
Now.
Now.
Once I woke up, I really woke up.
I don't know how long, before I realized.
I was no longer in that place.
The realm of the Reaper, and the souls he has claimed.

I did. I did. I made it, I am awake, I am alive.
I was in a time, where all my dreams were coming true,
a whole decade of things still yet to pass.
That dream stands out, the only anomaly.
It scared me into, no longer being able to fear.

I do not wish to die,
but I do not fear death.
He is not a friend, nor an enemy.
Just a being that I understand,
My soul was dead, years more then alive.
I do not know how to live.

This is why, I am the way I am.
I do not know if, I experienced a real, and un-explainable event.
I do not know if, I've just always been out of my rational mind.
I do not know if, there might be a spiritual tone to this universe, that I have yet to perceive. Though I doubt it.

I hope this comes off, in a person, that I am.
Just trying, to get shit off his plate.
I'm a small guy, but my eye's always say different.