I want to try and explain something,
that has always remained obtuse.
I don't mean to sound obscure,
but its simply my mood.

Somewhere between six and nine,
I had an experience I can't replicate.
I woke up one morning, deep in the night,
I had to piss, or lord did I.

I stepped off the bed,
and fell into oblivion.

I awoke with a start,
laughing, scared.
I cautiously checked the floor,
to see if it was really there.
Felt sure footed, and foolish,
both feet down,
grabbed by nightmare claw's,
and torn to shred's.

I awoke again, feeling frightened, petrified,
for I had felt every single moment.
My skin shredding, my veins ripping, bones fracturing, organs crushed
blood blood blood blood blood everywhere.

I stayed, paralyzed, I didn't move.
The bunk above me collapsed,
crushed my breast, my chest.
Lung's caved in, blew like balloons.
I died, I died, I died again.

For a millennium or two
maybe for all of time.
I died, and died, and died and died and died.
Now.
Now.
Once I woke up, I really woke up.
I don't know how long, before I realized.
I was no longer in that place.
The realm of the Reaper, and the souls he has claimed.

I did. I did. I made it, I am awake, I am alive.
I was in a time, where all my dreams were coming true,
a whole decade of things still yet to pass.
That dream stands out, the only anomaly.
It scared me into, no longer being able to fear.

I do not wish to die,
but I do not fear death.
He is not a friend, nor an enemy.
Just a being that I understand,
My soul was dead, years more then alive.
I do not know how to live.

This is why, I am the way I am.
I do not know if, I experienced a real, and un-explainable event.
I do not know if, I've just always been out of my rational mind.
I do not know if, there might be a spiritual tone to this universe, that I have yet to perceive. Though I doubt it.

I hope this comes off, in a person, that I am.
Just trying, to get shit off his plate.
I'm a small guy, but my eye's always say different.

These two objects of questions, are about a book I've been thinking about for a year or more.

A. To get the population where I will need it to be, I first have to find out what the general accepted idea for the maximum human population of the world, a then, if its not high enough, think of a theory to increase it by however much is necessary.

2. For it to be a series with strong science and religious aspects, there has to be some kind of way I can blend the cause and solution together.

I fucking hate words.
They fail at so god damned much.

Every day there is a man in my head named Ignacious.
One day he's going to school and meeting friends.
Then he's fleeing from the government, because he met aliens.
Once, he almost bled out, because he flipped his car trying to save a person he'd never met.

So, I think I'm just going to write about him. Speak about him. Tell his story, and the next, and the next. Because it's all Him, but a different him, living a different life... I will tell their stories till I die.

Also, his entire world, is in hue's and shades of Orange.