Blog Comments
Pain
I have already met three babybats who died the exact same day I met them recently, and so many people I grew up with have gotten killed, and reality hurts so much that I have to disassociate from it to cope and I don’t have access to any vices that would also mitigate the pain. Ever since I finally left the abusive relationship I was subject to since grade school, I have only been subject to even more abuse, and it has taken a major toll on the remnants of my already deteriorating psychological health. People are so hateful, unethical, and exploitative; and those kind of people are much less of a minority than I have once assumed, due to my ignorance. And this one babybat I saw committed suicide weeks after I saw him, and he was only 13 when it has happened. The ones I met who died the exact same day I met them were 17, 15, and 15; respectively. Today I saw a car smattered with a variety of highly opinionated bumper stickers, one which said “I Support The LGBFJB+ Community” with a Thin Blue Line flag flying with a “Trump 2024” flag flying on two of the car’s corners, and this car was in my neighborhood. The last neighborhood I lived in (before I moved to an apartment, before I moved to the neighborhood I currently live in), a lesbian couple was killed by some people who lived nearby in the exact same neighborhood. The first girl and the third girl I met who got killed the exact day I saw them alive were both murdered by their parents for liking girls. While I cast a protection spell on a Chinese mother and her two daughters, her husband would have killed them all if it weren’t for my spell. I cast a protection spell on someone I knew from grade 9 who would have been subject to dying from a hate crime. And Nina was killed by her mother for being a lesbian because my grandma’s missionary friend is in the Ku Klux Klan, and she ministered to Nina’s parents. It hurts so fucking much, and it makes sense why she never called Nina’s brother “Yanni” instead of “John” when Nina was born in Greece. When I was forced to stay at the library late at night while it was closing so I would be forced to wait alone outside in the dark while my grandma’s missionary friend was shopping at Lowe’s Foods, I managed to get a ride from someone, just to realize she got killed by said missionary the very next day. I learned from a lot of my childhood friends about the prevalence and pervasion of fraternicide and sororicide, along with infanticide. I have no refuge from this, and I refuse to deny the reality that hurts us.