Turns out my bf has been at his house this whole tyme but hes like on total lock down, i just called him and caught him when his mom wasnt paying attentiona nd got to talk to him fer like 10 mins, i gues they got into a huge Fight and he cant do anything but go to skool!
this fucking blows!

i feel better knowing where he is but i still feel bad that we have to wait almost another month to get our apartment i wanna get him outta that house, i kno whut its like to have a mom like his i dont kno how hes stayed as "sane" as he has this long

I Love Him So Much and i cant do anything to make him happy:(

I Still dont kno where he is!!!
It's been two weeks since i seen him and a week since i talked to him!
I'm soooooo worried, he didnt answer my email last nite, maybe he cant even get online but i wish he would just let me kno whuts going on
I hope hes just not avioding me because he doesnt love me anymore and doesnt want to to tell me and hurt me, but this is killing me.
Everyday that passes and hes no where to be found makes me fall apart a little more inside!
Im dying without him, im so worried.
Uhhh I Hate Not Knowing Anything!

At the Disco
lol
I JUST started listening to em today and i friggin (L) em! Amazing!

I Can't seem to find my Boyfriend.
I've called his cell is disconnected and his mom has a message on the home fone answering machine Saying not to call for him there anymore, and well he hasent tried to get ahold of me or anything and im just REALLY worried..
*sigh* i wanna cry
i think he got kicked outa his moms house... but iono we'll see i sent him an email hopefully he gets it*sigh*

OMG! went to see it on friday night
KICK ASS MOVIE!, i wanna go see it again! ill pay triple to see it again its that friggin good! like WOW if you havent seen it yet...GO! GO NOW! RUN!

woot, got my ticket for the opening of underworld tonight!
cant wait!

like look at this, look how skinny i was, and all thanks to depression i got fat and ew! ugg and nothig works ive dieted and exercised and GAINED weight, and its not like ive gained muscle, cuz there none to be soon, i just keep growing lil by lil, pretty soon ill be like Violet in Willy wonka and the chocolate factory Ugg im so grose!~

OMG! so freekin nervouse!
I had unprotected sex(well i have birth control pills but i dont take em properly) about 10 days ago with my bf and well now im getting the first symptoms of pregnancy, like the boobs hurting and i read that......



"If you're pregnant, it's also possible for you to think you've had your period when you didn't. When a newly fertilized egg attaches to the wall of the uterus, sometimes it prompts a little bleeding. This typically occurs a few days before the time you would expect your period to come if you weren't pregnant. If your periods are normally light, you might assume that this implantation bleeding is your period.

In other cases, wildly fluctuating hormone levels in the first week or two after conception may prompt some bleeding from the lining of the uterus similar to a period."




and i have the bleeding




what am i gonna do? Ive already told my bf it could be a possibility but i was nervouse when i said it and laffed and made it sound like a joke i think.

I think im just gonna wait untill sunday to take a test and if it comes back positive im gonna have a lot to deal with for the rest of my life

i wouldnt be able to give my kid up for adoption and abortion is outa the question, im for it for other women under the right circumstances.
but its not for me. plus its not the babys fault, it was my fault it shouldnt be punished for something i did. im old enuff to take on my responsibilities.

and i do think im ready for it(well at least mentally, not financially) i kno its gonna be really hard but this summer when i got pregnant my first tyme (i ended up misscarrying thanks to my mother*angry*) i was nervous but more willing and excited to bring a life into this world.

and at least this tyme i wont have to move to calgary cuz this bf is in my city.

well maybe i should just not think about it. I'm shure as hell not telling anyone i kno, well excet for the people i kno on here. lol but no one at my skool will know till i kno for shure!

but omg im soo nervous. Wish me luck:S

Ill Keep Ya Posted...If ANYONE ever reads these

OMG! I'm so effin happy!
I Got my corset last night! its sooooooo awesome and only 80$
Ill post pics as soon as i get on my comp at home and take them, im stioll so excited theres been a smile on my face since last night:D


Oh and yay for diet pills i got em back and ill be skinny again in no tyme woot go me lmao!

Oh yeah! Who got laid last night?
who? who?
Oh Yeah It was ME:D
me and my bf Finally had sex, even tho EVERYONE was in the house, it kinda sucked cuz i couldnt make n e noise but believe u me i needed/wanted to!
it was definetly different, and i didnt feel like a slut after wards it was well GENTLE lol this tym different was really good, and i <3 it
i cant wait untill we have our own apartment and a friggin bed couches arent the best place fer that
lol but ne ways toodles fer now:D lol