*this one is kinda a harder one to explain to the ones that want me to stop trying to kill myself, I'm done trying. all that's left is just memories that burdon me until they're released in the form of a poem, such as this one.*

She brings the world to me,
but only through the fixed association.
denied, is when she cried, but only do I see her.
Again I died inside but was it only for her?
I died for you again... but never fucking me!!!

No hold for emotion. so cold, but the rain leaves me frozen.
I wait outside, to die alittle more and more.
she looks at me and then she falls away!

Can you hear me screaming? or is all for nothing?
Is what you seek revenge, or is it my insanity?
Paranoia brought forth decay, thou art weak!!!
She cries again for her christian god, but finds nothing as she speaks.
I find her in the field again, she died alone and... Broken inside!!!

I once found a man, who's life he had created,
he sat there brokenly, staring at me blankly.
his attention returned to him, and to my dismay he questioned me.
As my hatred for human life reigns forever, with my hands I claimed his life.

He now hangs for me, in the trees of the forest.
carved from with in his chest the words of creator.
his new found enbodiment, dragged his soul to the point of no return.
but where the fire burns, is where the pyre turns men into feces.
and where he wound up is in the dark abyss, the bowels of hell.

I carved the name of Isolation into my palms.
morbid visions, brought me through my final hours of decay.
distaste, of purified hatred, through the waves of lamentation.