*seeing as how I have tried committing suicide I don't know how many times anymore, appearently I never worked, because I'm still here, and if you're reading this you're probably wondering what I"m getting at. I wrote this poem as a dedication to my deceased grandfather, the only family member from my dad's family that gave a shit about me. I lost him to cancer when I was 2, people question why I smoke, because I know one day we all will die, what's wrong with trying to speed the process a bit, *not to sound so depressing* but I stopped trying to kill myself the fast way, just bring it about slowly. when I read this poem for poetry readings at coffee shops and book stores, this one is the hardest six lines to read, not because of anything that I wrote in it, just because I know that the one I dedicated to is the only one that did ever really give a shit about me in that family and no matter what his spirit still watches over me, but just it kinda attacks me even though I was never able to say hi or bye to him. this one isn't new anymore, it's kinda older it was written a couple of years ago*


As I walk down the shadowy mile.
Sentenced a hell-bound exile from heaven above,
Smile apon my damnation, I will rise from my downfall,
Fallen angel, I prey to you, give me life once again,
I've fallen in combat in this bitter war.
And alone I wander furthermore.