Reasons...
Upon this world i am
But an ant.
A small parasite upon
this flesh eating wound.
when their around,
that all go's away,
but im tired of this life.
I,the human ashtray.
I am dumped and
out of me comes garbage.
With my happy thought gone,
Nothing keeps me from the loaded gun.
It waits for me in
the bedroom droor.
6 shooters,what a thrill,
One bullet could easily kill
everything i thought i knew,
and everyone i loved so dear.
Ive thought it completely through,
And the time draws near.
My happy thought,kept me alive,
when the best was gone,
i couldnt survive,
love i felt,
feelings fake.

I guess its the mistakes we all make,ive made quite a few,i cannot apologize enough,but it doesnt matter anymore,becasue i am now a rusty blades whore,it will tear my heart open just as she did,and shes the one that will pull the trigger.demented is love,out of spite,she angers me and she has the right,i have done wrong,i must be punished,but i take from her more than a beating,she rips my soul,and my heart left bleeding.so endorse my pain,cross my mind around this bend,i must be insane,but right an elegy for your ex best friend.

lies, brutality,cries,sexuality,happy,dead,crappy,alive.
i want her,i want her for life,we were their for eachother and everytime i try,she makes me wish i could die.id do that for her,im already half their,and the padded room has already accepted me,they want me thier.i think i should,no visits,no one but me,in my happy jacket thinking of thee.alone i would sit,being tired of the same old shit that ive put people threw,it happened more than anyone knows,i could just leave this life of friends,but not of truth.i should go back to where i came from before i fucked everyones lives up,things would be different,and i could be in a padded room where no one knew me,then i could feel no guilt,i couldnt hurt the ones i love.life would be fine.and i could rot away with onething on my mind.the ones i care of the ones that i love,i will never see them until im below or above.

waiting on my judgement,and they've already decided,no more anything that makes me excited,love like a storm..kissing in the rain...those 2 are the ones who erased all my pain.

i go to eternal sleep,thinking of the things ive been taught,and the last think i think of is that they were my happy thought....