for once you heard me say i am an ant upon this earth, i was more than i hath told. i am more than any insect, i am more than human, i can be more worthy to desend than anyone shall know! i shal seek life in others eyes and lay to rest thier minds that i am thier. The vultures that circled this carcas shall bow before it as if it were a god to hail for life beyond life!
So many things flow to my mind when i think of the past, a see a swirl of torment, despair and hurt. THIS HURT WAS CAUSED BY THE LIKES OF PEOPLE I WAS TOLD I SHOULD LOVE! WHAT HAS LOVE GOTTEN ANY OF THESE PEOPLE THAT BOW BEFORE IT? I CAN BE LOVE, BOW BEFORE ME, AND I CAN HURT YOU THE SAME WAY! call me god and i will bless you with all the pain your heart desires, and if you wish this not upon yourself, you shall get nothing from me. MY LIFE SPEAKS THE WORDS" I AM MURDER,DEPCEPTION AND VANITY! LET ONLY ME BE THE RULER OF MY OWN LIFE AND NO ONE SHALL OVERTHROW ME IN MY THROWN!"
PLUNGE INTO AN OCEAN OF THOUGHT AND SCREAM AT THE SALT WATER GETTING IN YOUR EYES AND CRY AT THE TRUTH WITH BROKEN SOBS AND FEEL IT AS LIFE AND LOVE LICK YOUR TEARS OFF YOUR FACE AND IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING IS OK AGAIN!
only so that they can put you through the cycle. those few tears of agony will soon be a hurricane of torture for your soul. as time gos on, you can almost see the tears start to fall from the sky again, raining on you like a truth you blocked out because your OWn inner fears of this life. feel the spirit that dwells in you devour itself and gasp in shock as you hear moan of every life your soul has lived coome down on you. let it be free, and let it come out. everyone needs air.
Poltergiest's Poetry
Withering/song about my mom.
a song by poltergiest:withering.
I cant stand aside
and let you move me
to the other side
of the planet.away from her
away from them,
i wont start over,
not again.
once is enough,
you cut me open,
tear me apart,
and i cant take this,
your slicing my heart into
pieces to small,
and thier slowly dying,
and then nothing
will be left,
except me hear crying
because
i cant stand aside
and the you move me
to the other side
of the planet
away from her
away from them,
i wont start over
not again.
your in love
fine then go
but i'll never leave,
you dont even know
how i feel
and how i break
when you say this was my mistake,
and im tired of being blamed,
when can i enjoy my life,
without you putting me through more strife?
Its like theirs no escape
for you no mater what,
the only evidence im alive
is this y axis cut
on my wrist
and then you get pissed!?
well fuck what you think,
fuck your world,
son of a bitch
you make me hurl!
I cant stand aside
and let you move me
to the other side
of the planet.away from her
away from them,
i wont start over,
not again...
I cant stand aside
and let you move me
to the other side
of the planet.away from her
away from them,
i wont start over,
not again.
once is enough,
you cut me open,
tear me apart,
and i cant take this,
your slicing my heart into
pieces to small,
and thier slowly dying,
and then nothing
will be left,
except me hear crying
because
i cant stand aside
and the you move me
to the other side
of the planet
away from her
away from them,
i wont start over
not again.
your in love
fine then go
but i'll never leave,
you dont even know
how i feel
and how i break
when you say this was my mistake,
and im tired of being blamed,
when can i enjoy my life,
without you putting me through more strife?
Its like theirs no escape
for you no mater what,
the only evidence im alive
is this y axis cut
on my wrist
and then you get pissed!?
well fuck what you think,
fuck your world,
son of a bitch
you make me hurl!
I cant stand aside
and let you move me
to the other side
of the planet.away from her
away from them,
i wont start over,
not again...
Happy Thought.
Reasons...
Upon this world i am
But an ant.
A small parasite upon
this flesh eating wound.
when their around,
that all go's away,
but im tired of this life.
I,the human ashtray.
I am dumped and
out of me comes garbage.
With my happy thought gone,
Nothing keeps me from the loaded gun.
It waits for me in
the bedroom droor.
6 shooters,what a thrill,
One bullet could easily kill
everything i thought i knew,
and everyone i loved so dear.
Ive thought it completely through,
And the time draws near.
My happy thought,kept me alive,
when the best was gone,
i couldnt survive,
love i felt,
feelings fake.
I guess its the mistakes we all make,ive made quite a few,i cannot apologize enough,but it doesnt matter anymore,becasue i am now a rusty blades whore,it will tear my heart open just as she did,and shes the one that will pull the trigger.demented is love,out of spite,she angers me and she has the right,i have done wrong,i must be punished,but i take from her more than a beating,she rips my soul,and my heart left bleeding.so endorse my pain,cross my mind around this bend,i must be insane,but right an elegy for your ex best friend.
lies, brutality,cries,sexuality,happy,dead,crappy,alive.
i want her,i want her for life,we were their for eachother and everytime i try,she makes me wish i could die.id do that for her,im already half their,and the padded room has already accepted me,they want me thier.i think i should,no visits,no one but me,in my happy jacket thinking of thee.alone i would sit,being tired of the same old shit that ive put people threw,it happened more than anyone knows,i could just leave this life of friends,but not of truth.i should go back to where i came from before i fucked everyones lives up,things would be different,and i could be in a padded room where no one knew me,then i could feel no guilt,i couldnt hurt the ones i love.life would be fine.and i could rot away with onething on my mind.the ones i care of the ones that i love,i will never see them until im below or above.
waiting on my judgement,and they've already decided,no more anything that makes me excited,love like a storm..kissing in the rain...those 2 are the ones who erased all my pain.
i go to eternal sleep,thinking of the things ive been taught,and the last think i think of is that they were my happy thought....
Upon this world i am
But an ant.
A small parasite upon
this flesh eating wound.
when their around,
that all go's away,
but im tired of this life.
I,the human ashtray.
I am dumped and
out of me comes garbage.
With my happy thought gone,
Nothing keeps me from the loaded gun.
It waits for me in
the bedroom droor.
6 shooters,what a thrill,
One bullet could easily kill
everything i thought i knew,
and everyone i loved so dear.
Ive thought it completely through,
And the time draws near.
My happy thought,kept me alive,
when the best was gone,
i couldnt survive,
love i felt,
feelings fake.
I guess its the mistakes we all make,ive made quite a few,i cannot apologize enough,but it doesnt matter anymore,becasue i am now a rusty blades whore,it will tear my heart open just as she did,and shes the one that will pull the trigger.demented is love,out of spite,she angers me and she has the right,i have done wrong,i must be punished,but i take from her more than a beating,she rips my soul,and my heart left bleeding.so endorse my pain,cross my mind around this bend,i must be insane,but right an elegy for your ex best friend.
lies, brutality,cries,sexuality,happy,dead,crappy,alive.
i want her,i want her for life,we were their for eachother and everytime i try,she makes me wish i could die.id do that for her,im already half their,and the padded room has already accepted me,they want me thier.i think i should,no visits,no one but me,in my happy jacket thinking of thee.alone i would sit,being tired of the same old shit that ive put people threw,it happened more than anyone knows,i could just leave this life of friends,but not of truth.i should go back to where i came from before i fucked everyones lives up,things would be different,and i could be in a padded room where no one knew me,then i could feel no guilt,i couldnt hurt the ones i love.life would be fine.and i could rot away with onething on my mind.the ones i care of the ones that i love,i will never see them until im below or above.
waiting on my judgement,and they've already decided,no more anything that makes me excited,love like a storm..kissing in the rain...those 2 are the ones who erased all my pain.
i go to eternal sleep,thinking of the things ive been taught,and the last think i think of is that they were my happy thought....
The mirror
I see my reflection.I stare back at myself.I see what a bitter burnedout shell i have become.I stare, in spite of myself, longer.I also see what i once was.I was in love.I see her.She smiled at me.and i kissed her cheek.so innocent were our lives.only to be torn apart by the likes of them.beware of them.I see my parents,and all the happiness i once had. Then i see me.I am smiling.i am only 8.then the little boy turns into an older and more cryptic man.the man is me now.i am smiling too.I raise my hand as if to touch my face in disbelief....and i pull the trigger.....
My Closed Door/No Point
I feel love it never shows.everyone i love hates me.i think of suicide,everyone knows.its just that they dont careI smoke and i drink.it helps me thinks about my life.why do i live?what my and our cause?we build our temples to have them torn down.then when we succeed,we are dead?No Point.People talk about their closed dor,well hears mine.I love people that hate me.only because at one time or another i believed they loved me to.they hate me because i am wrong in thinking that.No Point.When my parents know i have cut,they still allow me knives.No Point.They only cause me to do the unthinkable,but no attention is served to my wrists anymore.
TO be finished later
TO be finished later
Hold
In your arms.
Defeat,Wonderful Misery
Loving you
My tension slips
My guard is history
Souls touching
Hearts held hostage
Its Beautiful
they love their bondage
Forever we hold
Forever we feel
Love is our nature
and we know its real
Defeat,Wonderful Misery
Loving you
My tension slips
My guard is history
Souls touching
Hearts held hostage
Its Beautiful
they love their bondage
Forever we hold
Forever we feel
Love is our nature
and we know its real
the storm
love like a storm,
kissing in the rain.
While we hold eachother,
we erase all our pain.
I watch someone esle,
and i start to see
that the person kissing her
will never be me.
Life lived in secret
she'll never realize
that while she is with me,
she's perfect in my eyes.
hours go by quickly,
She is in my arms
time doesnt matter
with irrasistable charms.
Hate with a passion
break me into pieces
Life without a mission
hate for no good reason.
I hate out of love
they do not hate me
with the one i love
hate is my jealousy....
kissing in the rain.
While we hold eachother,
we erase all our pain.
I watch someone esle,
and i start to see
that the person kissing her
will never be me.
Life lived in secret
she'll never realize
that while she is with me,
she's perfect in my eyes.
hours go by quickly,
She is in my arms
time doesnt matter
with irrasistable charms.
Hate with a passion
break me into pieces
Life without a mission
hate for no good reason.
I hate out of love
they do not hate me
with the one i love
hate is my jealousy....
we/us/the one of the 2
We alone,no controls.
Our bodies seperate,but united our souls.
My heart , your eyes, we together ,are a crime
you in my arms their is no time
For the other soon awakes to see
That no one can ever love me.
Beautiful nightmare,go back to sleep,
Keep me out of it,you'll only weep.
I am a killer,and destroyer of hearts,
The time without you hear is tearing me apart.
Our bodies seperate,but united our souls.
My heart , your eyes, we together ,are a crime
you in my arms their is no time
For the other soon awakes to see
That no one can ever love me.
Beautiful nightmare,go back to sleep,
Keep me out of it,you'll only weep.
I am a killer,and destroyer of hearts,
The time without you hear is tearing me apart.
today is the night.
As i walk in the misc of my life,i find that everyone i love fears me,i walk into the light,and i scare myself,but only when i see the real me do i know that no one is perfect.
as i walk in this day,i see what everyone says they are, the people who have been programmed into the modern world.They fit in perfectly in this place where we are all robots made to fit the same perfect framework.
as i walk in this night,i see what people really are,the fun loving,and the contagious people who spread like a plague of happiness,where they are not drawn into the world by someone trying to make it perfect,but they are the people they created fomr the beginning.
In a way,we are all vampires.by day,we are all the same,all fitted to the same lifestyle,and steriotyped by other people,and you do the same.by night,we are alive,and we feast,we are plentiful,and we do what we cant in the day.we are vampires.all of us,the programmed,and the programmers.
(the world is a sheet of paper,the only way that sheet of paper is going to change is if just one person can try.you can be that person.)
as i walk in this day,i see what everyone says they are, the people who have been programmed into the modern world.They fit in perfectly in this place where we are all robots made to fit the same perfect framework.
as i walk in this night,i see what people really are,the fun loving,and the contagious people who spread like a plague of happiness,where they are not drawn into the world by someone trying to make it perfect,but they are the people they created fomr the beginning.
In a way,we are all vampires.by day,we are all the same,all fitted to the same lifestyle,and steriotyped by other people,and you do the same.by night,we are alive,and we feast,we are plentiful,and we do what we cant in the day.we are vampires.all of us,the programmed,and the programmers.
(the world is a sheet of paper,the only way that sheet of paper is going to change is if just one person can try.you can be that person.)
In our own way we...think
In our own way
Look deep in your self.The next time you walk down the hallway,think of it as a life that has been ruined by another.Think of love that has been lost and think of love that is growing.Remember the person who has charmed you like an incubis in the night,think of them while you do the unthinkable.
Try to remember when you were a child,infant if possible.think of your parents.SO much in love were they.now you watch them and wonder what happened.the day you were born is the day their love started to fade,imagine what it was before you were their.
Think of your friend who gets abused,or does drugs cause they cant live life correctly anymore.WOnder to yourself,why are they like that?wonder what their life would be like if someone like you wasnt their.they would have nothing,except their very own tombstone.
In our own way,we save people,and bring suffering to others.Their is not one person in the world who can only save and not demolish.To save the world,you have to destroy something.maybe one person,maybe millions.but in the end,the person who needs saved is you.
Look deep in your self.The next time you walk down the hallway,think of it as a life that has been ruined by another.Think of love that has been lost and think of love that is growing.Remember the person who has charmed you like an incubis in the night,think of them while you do the unthinkable.
Try to remember when you were a child,infant if possible.think of your parents.SO much in love were they.now you watch them and wonder what happened.the day you were born is the day their love started to fade,imagine what it was before you were their.
Think of your friend who gets abused,or does drugs cause they cant live life correctly anymore.WOnder to yourself,why are they like that?wonder what their life would be like if someone like you wasnt their.they would have nothing,except their very own tombstone.
In our own way,we save people,and bring suffering to others.Their is not one person in the world who can only save and not demolish.To save the world,you have to destroy something.maybe one person,maybe millions.but in the end,the person who needs saved is you.