You're cold hard eyes turn to lock with mine and I feel it. The luminous smile turned into a dark lurking frown. The sympathetic tears that stained your eyes have long since fallen. Mercy is no longer your game. To fall alone would end it all. To be the one at the final scene. I ask myself how could I lie straight to your eyes?
The promises of this poor impossible life I try to lead.
Oh wise man please fill my need.
Answer my questions along with this plead.
I suffer no longer for I gain no merit.

Time ticks by passing only to remind me of my sins having no more fingers to count them with. My eyes flash to the heavens above thinking God must be laughing at my foolish situation. Where has the love gone? It must have turned to ash and been flowing with the wind for ages now. Across the Earth showing those who look hard enough the story of my unholy demise. The lies that were told to bring me to this state of a living death, must have rusted away by now.


With every fiber of my being I try to apologize for my mistakes only to be shot down with your cold angered laugh. Showing all that you have cared about before has gone and left with all of the promises I could never keep.
Bring me my dagger so I can release both of our pain and suffering.
On my knees and broken bones I beg and plead for understanding.
I won't give in!
...but yet I feel myself giving up.
I lose ground in the battle that is raging on within my soul... within my being, I fall and lose control. A demon of my past has reawakened to claim its everlasting hold on me.
Showing not all of the chains have been broken. Why I felt I could do this alone, I shall never know.
Pity is not what I seek.


I dig my nails into my flesh to remind me that I'm still alive. With every wilted rose petal that falls another part of my soul dies along with it.
I look for inspiration along with deceit to feed my dyeing need to be accepted.
I turn my eyes back to your red face and smirk at you. I can see the puzzled look in your eyes. They then turn to shock as I reach into my coat pocket to bring out a large metal revolver. I click of the safety lock and point it towards my brain.


My heart pounding to a different type of beat now. Its starts to race along with your own. I close my eyes and whisper my final farewell. As I pull the trigger I get my wish.
I can see that you finally care with my last words still hanging in the air.

Waisting away along with the day. The sun goes to sleep as well as the weak.
Moon light shines in letting the shadows dance and play.
Creatures of the night roam the earth alone,
yet only when the sun goes down for God would not allow such a beast the pleasure of the light.
Many find the stories to be legend or from one's over active imagination.
Yet here I sit trying to testify against all.
My story is proof that the monsters that enter the most terrifying nightmares exist and walk the Earth

Among Us All.

Drenched in the sweat and blood that stuck to his body, he took a step forward. Hand gripping onto the sword as if it was his lifeline. In a way it was, it was his tool to survive. In this world you fight to live, the weak will fall and the strong will stand tall.

In a flash he dropped his weapon, falling to his knees, eyes bulging wide.
"TAKE IT!" His voice rang out in the silence. If you looked around you would find no one for miles. So why curse the air, for it has done nothing. Why curse the ground that he walked on for it has done nothing, but show him the path? What was he doing? His sanity must have been fading. Then out of thin air a booming voice answered his call.

"What is there for me to take? I see nothing, but a pathetic man regretting his choice to live. What should I take when I see nothing of value. I gave you the choice to live, you took it and in the process took another. For you to live others must die. Your death was certain, yet I brought you back so you could live." The voice hard and cold.

"Please I dont want this power!! Take it back!" The man cried out. "This is not life this is death! I do not wish for this any longer let me die!" Hot tears streaming down his pale cheeks.

"As you wish." the voice replied. In an instant the mans body fell to the earth. A flame of orange, red, and blue engulfed the body, fully overtaking it. When nothing was left the fire ceased the ashes were blown away, by a single wind and all was silent once more.


END

-Late last night-

The orange, plastic, cylinder sits alone on the counter. I sigh as I pass it on the way out of the door. My mind flashing back to the previous night. I remember my hand grasping around the bottle, my finger working to pop of the white child safety lock cap. Then shaking it violently pouring out at least 9 white pills. Why I do this to myself you may ask? Maybe this would explain it better...

Tantalizing lights dance in my head they are beautiful shades and magnificent hues. My mind floats like a boat down a current of thoughts. I never can seem to grasp what I'm thinking or even remember an ounce of what I used to know. I can't seem to be able to count my sins on my hands anymore, I lose all hope in the world in anything greater then myself. I close my eyes tight and wait for this feeling to pass. It seems to go from dark to light and back again. I stumble down the hallway. Stopping shortly outside of my parents room.

"Its all your fault!!!!" I hear my mother scream at him.

"My fault? You say its my fault? So its my fault your a failure, my fault we lost everything?" He yells back, lungs wobbling on each spoken words. Yet the unspoken words, the ones know one hears but me. I can here it now. 'I'm sorry I love you... can please forgive me, but my pride is to much it gets in the way.' I roll my eyes and blink back tears. If only he would say it. Admit he is nothing without her.

"No it's your fault that we don't have money because you keep investing all of it into your dead end dreams!!" She cries out. A fresh batch of tears streaming down her face.

He looks taken aback. I can see him stager as if each word daggers piercing through his heart.

"You know I try had to provide for this family!!" He screeches. His face flushing a crimson red.

"You try and you fail... everything you try at you fail. I can't take it anymore!!" She chokes out. "Please I just need some time alone to think. I have been thinking about this lately actually." she whispers in a soft hurt voice. "I think it is best if I take the children and leave." I can see now she is picking up a nearby suitcase and inching ever so slightly to the door. The door that shields me from their eyes and conceals my presence.

"No!" He shouts at her. Moving and blocking the door. "You wont leave me and give up hope."

"I'm sorry, but I can't stay..." Tears blindly her eyes.

"No! I said no!" Then he jumps. Its a flash a blur. He is on top of her pulling and yanking the suitcase out of her hands. She struggles back. Teeth finding sink and sinking in. I stand there my eyes transfixed on my parents. I feel my hands pushing the door in and mindlessly walking into the room. They turn around to see me. I must look almost as pitiful as they do. My black hair messy and fierce going in every which way. Tears staining my cheeks, my breath uneven and lost.

"Stop..." I whispers out. "Get off of her and stop."

No one moves or even makes an effort to resume a more pleasant stature.

"I SAID GET OFF OF HER!!!" I yell out again. I see him flinch back and stand up. I run to my mother and help her pick herself up. Whisper in her ear that thing will be ok, to get her bags and we can leave, we can go away. I feel my fathers eyes on my back glaring yet he does nothing to stop us. She goes out and starts the car, I run and grab my sleeping baby brother out of his crib along with his baby bag and a few toys and blankets. I rush down the steps past my crying and pleading father and into the old red pick up truck. My mother says nothing its nothing, but silence.I now feel the affect of the pills. It gets hazy and dark and my mind goes blank. I'm past out in the front of the pick up truck. My sleeping baby brother in hand, distraught mother at the wheel. And none of us realize the oncoming delivery truck in time to stop.

12:39 Friday July 14 a baby boy, 13 year old girl, and their mother where killed in a car crash. The father committed suicide 2 hours later leaving a note saying he couldn't take the feeling of feeling alone.