I dont know how much longer i can do this. pretend everything is okay. when i know that deep down inside he could careless about me. he fell in love with my best friends jail bait sister. he promised that i (along with) his family would be the 1st person he wrote in basic. well his mom just told me that he has wrote some girl. the girl wasnt me. ive waited for 3 weeks checking the mail 5 pm every day. go to sleep at night crying on our teddy bear. i guess it doesnt matter. he doesnt want a girl that tempts him even when not trying to. i cant help that my body is made for sex. but he could get over that. i love him. he said he loved me also promised hed never brake up with me. i guess there isnt anyone i can trust anymore. i can tell today is going to be a FUCKED UP day

I thought living with kayla wouldnt be any different than anywhere else. i would enjoy it at 1st but later hate it. well its had its ups and downs. a down living in the middle of everything but you cant go anywhere. all my friends are 45 min away and all the guys here look at me like they are going to eat me. But other than that its great. me and kayla are always play fighting. im treated like an adult. i love it. soon we will be going to pilot. im still waiting on the letter from jesse. i will have no way to talk to him if he doesnt send me a letter before i move. but on better terms. im loving like im really taking a liking to gonegothic.com. my modeling is really getting started . i have some pics on my gonegothic page. i start my seinor year august 8th i dont think im ready to graduate. we are remodeling the house our grandparents have given us. inside with be all neon colors. there will only be collage dorm type furnishings in the living room. ive had to learn to clean after my every move she is so OCD. everything has a place. everything must been clean. itll be nice to not share a room with her. but i love my sister. shes always been there. hell she knows more about the guys i date more then i do , AND SHES LESBIAN!!!! but soon if everthing works out in 9 months i will be a big sister. i dont know how to take that. i dont know if i like it. well ill write later *kisses* to all that read

After being on here so much for a week it seems so weird to be on VF. people on here (well most) are so nice. so far i haven't got any really perverted comments on my pics which im use on VF, so thats nice. you're probably wonder why i put the pics up. cuz i wanna be me. im tired of editing everything. i find beauty in nature, natural things. clothes to me just get in the way of some pictures. not all but some. well back on topic. gonegothic is alot smaller than VF it seems like everyone knows most everyone thats been on here for a while. its nice. well im going to go for know. *kisses* to all that read

so i would blog about this on VF to people who cared but i still have another day of suspension.

So i finally figured out how to get started modeling thanks to a friend on VF
I made a portfolio on a website last week and have already gotten hits. I'm so happy
Me and my mother should be going to a shoot soon. i hope i am good enough . i want to hopefully get into the nude modeling one day



my page : http://www.modelmayhem.com/2702961

ive lived on vampire freaks for two weeks now. i havnt took the time to figure this website out. so know that i am suspended from VF i guess thats just what ill do till friday.