I'm getting so much better as I get older and learn more and more.. Yet randomly, and I mean randomly, I'll have odd thoughts and self hatred.
I was smoking a cigarette outside on the porch thinking about different shit, and out of no where "I hate myself and my life" popped into my head, despite not thinking of similar thoughts prior.
I was even shocked and asked myself why that popped into my head.

It could be better and it could be worse.

That's not false proxy.

I saw the movie Heidi, and I really liked it.

I can't wait for fall. This summer heat and humidity is kicking my arse. ;_;

We have a polar vortex in NYC it has been quite mild.

Some people are given more than their fair share by life... it's sickening how some of those people take it for granted.

What is your favorite day of the week?

I wish it would storm more often. It puts me in a blissful state.

My dear sis you can do so much better.
Why are you putting yourself through this? You used to be so strong-willed and independent - and now what? You need a man? No.

You're wasting your life on a waste-of-life, get back to yourself and love yourself once again.

But just don't start hitting me again and being violent we don't need that

Maybe it's because I haven't been striving for personal success.

I need to get a grip of myself.

I've shaved my head off one time. I collected all the hair in a box which I was going to use for hair replantation.

peanuts clog up the kidneys.

That's cool, yeah something always eats up our conscience; except Jacob, he is no jackoff plus he likes Metal.

I think I'm done.

This could be quite fun.

I want something more out of my life, i want to try again but the anger takes over.

I want to forget your face and it kills me in knowing that no matter what i do your presence will always haunt me.

Sometimes I honestly wonder just what the fuck is wrong with me.

How does she expect me to take her back after how poorly she treated me, all the shenanigans she pulled and the lies she told me? Her life around me revolved around drama, arguing and lying.