Pretty sure Mom is going to die soon. Too much going on and her body is just getting weaker and weaker. She's signed a DNR and is making a living will today refusing to be on life support for any reason. She's stalling with going to Cleveland to a better hospital because she was told that the doctor there will tell her she needs surgery, too. She just wants to go home and die. She's too weak to make it through another surgery but with feces leaking into her stomach, surgery is her only options.

Happy fucking holidays.

My mother died quite ugly too. They sent her to a hospice, and I visited her one time, and we had some beautiful moments together. One of the things was, I went for some chicken salad and she was worried about me like I was 5 years old all over again, being the baby of the family. That'll never happen again. She can't worry about me any more.

My mom will end up at home if she goes that route. And it won't be pretty at all, slowly being poisoned from the inside.




I confess that I'm finding out more and more about myself with every negative thing you assume about me. Funny how wrong you are now and how wrong I was then.

i hate that my brain will go on tangents about situations that I would never possibly be in, things that i haven't thought about in years, that make me remember how i felt then.......

anyways, hello gonegothic, nice to see you again, i'll return the next time i'm either super drunk or going through another minor mental break

Never forget us.

Just tag @xDarkAvengerx a lot and there will be emails.

Funny how a few conversations can set so much into motion. Never honestly thought I was this blind to my own self before but apparently I was. Surprisingly, even knowing that, I'm much happier than I've been in a LONG time. So much has finally been brought into the light rather than left drowning in the darkness. And it's about damned time.

Get with a working girl then.

Funny how familiar everything seems, it's like a twisted loop of sorts.

Deja Entendre?

I'm done.

Deja Vu means already seen, Deja Entendre means already heard.

Noted.

Sunspots wrote:

Just tag @xDarkAvengerx a lot and there will be emails.

you are correct, there were emails

Yes!!!!! @dav has added some pretty good new features lately.





Confession...

Damn. Things are spinning out of control. Time to grab a hold for a long, hard ride.

Thanks Kat!

Christmas period is pretty busy at work so I'm not as active as I was previously but should be back in form in the new year.

You're welcome!






I almost felt bad. I seriously almost felt bad. For like, two whole seconds. And then I just laughed for 3 more.

I've missed this familiar feeling, how did I go on so long without it?

Totally lost my edge.

It was hell today, seeing her like she was. I've seen infants less helpless than she was. I hate it. But, she smiled, regardless of how drugged up she was, I'll take what I can get.

On a separate note... It's a whole new fucking world and DAMN. I do believe I'm going to love it.

I converted to Buddhism, where everyone can become Buddha-like.