Vampariah wrote:

We change too.

Yes, we do.

Misanthropic_Nature wrote:

love_broken_soul wrote: what do i think?!? I think we all should get high and have a big skype chat!!!! Get blasted lol.

all the same deal-y-o! so it's all good! each get their own thing then have a giant ass skype chat lol

Sunspots wrote:

A lot of things have changed in the last month. Not all were good. Funny how life has ways of fucking up everything you thought you knew.

______this is also a confession...______

try having your bf/fiancee turn out to be a pedophile and had been touching your children and you didn't know about it until your kids' school calls to have you come pick them up. get there and go into the principals office, be ambushed by 2 cops, children's aid/child services and the principal all telling you that your kids came to them, said that their "daddy" was doing things to them... and he was arrested that same day and haven't seen or heard from him since because of conditions (that and the fact if you saw him you would probably kill him) that would put you yourself in jail and your kids in protective care...

yeah that was my life november 1st 2013... and it's been recovery and counseling ever since.


please don't you guys go off on me saying "how could you not know" and the like... I've been asking myself all those same questions with no answers to them in sight....

Well. Speechless.

Fuck you cancer! You absolute fucking knob!

I thought I was a healer, and then I saw my mother waste away.

love_broken_soul wrote:

Sunspots wrote: A lot of things have changed in the last month. Not all were good. Funny how life has ways of fucking up everything you thought you knew. ______this is also a confession...______ try having your bf/fiancee turn out to be a pedophile and had been touching your children and you didn't know about it until your kids' school calls to have you come pick them up. get there and go into the principals office, be ambushed by 2 cops, children's aid/child services and the principal all telling you that your kids came to them, said that their "daddy" was doing things to them... and he was arrested that same day and haven't seen or heard from him since because of conditions (that and the fact if you saw him you would probably kill him) that would put you yourself in jail and your kids in protective care... yeah that was my life november 1st 2013... and it's been recovery and counseling ever since. please don't you guys go off on me saying "how could you not know" and the like... I've been asking myself all those same questions with no answers to them in sight....

If you don't suspect it you often overlook any possible signs that MAY have been there. There's not always signs. He may have told them not to tell you and that's why they never did.

At least you did something and are continuing to do it. My mother still stands by the man that molested my sister and I. I have also found out that when she first found out years ago, she used it as a threat over him to get everything she wanted out of him. AND when I started showing signs of being sexually active because of what was happening, she made up a story about me being raped to cover it up. I have lived 20+ years believing that a certain individual raped me when I didn't even know what sex was, only to find out that it was all a lie made up to cover up what my stepfather was doing because my mother is a selfish cunt that cares nothing about her children. And she has since had the nerve to tell me that I need to forgive him because he's dying and that I need to ask him for forgiveness for pushing the issue of it being known that he is a child molester.

So, I know you're going through hell. I know it sucks, as a parent, to think about that. Jeremiah and Chey's father did some pretty horrible things to them that I didn't know about till years later but not on that level, so I understand how that guilt will tear you apart. But you're doing something now. You're protecting them. Hold onto that and let it comfort you at night because there are many out there that will never do that for their child.

Sunspots wrote:

love_broken_soul wrote: Sunspots wrote: A lot of things have changed in the last month. Not all were good. Funny how life has ways of fucking up everything you thought you knew. ______this is also a confession...______ try having your bf/fiancee turn out to be a pedophile and had been touching your children and you didn't know about it until your kids' school calls to have you come pick them up. get there and go into the principals office, be ambushed by 2 cops, children's aid/child services and the principal all telling you that your kids came to them, said that their "daddy" was doing things to them... and he was arrested that same day and haven't seen or heard from him since because of conditions (that and the fact if you saw him you would probably kill him) that would put you yourself in jail and your kids in protective care... yeah that was my life november 1st 2013... and it's been recovery and counseling ever since. please don't you guys go off on me saying "how could you not know" and the like... I've been asking myself all those same questions with no answers to them in sight.... If you don't suspect it you often overlook any possible signs that MAY have been there. There's not always signs. He may have told them not to tell you and that's why they never did. At least you did something and are continuing to do it. My mother still stands by the man that molested my sister and I. I have also found out that when she first found out years ago, she used it as a threat over him to get everything she wanted out of him. AND when I started showing signs of being sexually active because of what was happening, she made up a story about me being raped to cover it up. I have lived 20+ years believing that a certain individual raped me when I didn't even know what sex was, only to find out that it was all a lie made up to cover up what my stepfather was doing because my mother is a selfish cunt that cares nothing about her children. And she has since had the nerve to tell me that I need to forgive him because he's dying and that I need to ask him for forgiveness for pushing the issue of it being known that he is a child molester. So, I know you're going through hell. I know it sucks, as a parent, to think about that. Jeremiah and Chey's father did some pretty horrible things to them that I didn't know about till years later but not on that level, so I understand how that guilt will tear you apart. But you're doing something now. You're protecting them. Hold onto that and let it comfort you at night because there are many out there that will never do that for their child.

So much love for you and this post Kat,
If I was in your place I probably would never speak to my mother or him ever again after finding out the truth. You can still have him arrested and charged for what he did do to you and your sister those years ago. Though if he's dying there might not be enough time to get it settled via courts (also money to do it). I can't immagine...

Though I do know what it's like to be rapped unfortunately... by my ex-husband actually... but at the time still husband. I can't do anything about it now though. I have no contact with him unless he creates a new facebook account and tried to contact me there. I currently have 8 of his old accounts blocked on facebook right now. But the last time he tried to talk to me, he couldn't even tell me what our kids birthdays are, their middle names, nothing. Then, at least, he admitted to me that there is no way he could/ can be any type of father to our kids even to this day. he " wasn't ready ".. well neither was I but hey I was the one who did it all right from the start anyway. (minus the sex part, that was a joint thing LOL)

But anywayz!

Life tends to fuck just about everyone over at many points in individuals lives... >_

I don't have anything to do with them. I don't really remember things but my sister does. It's her choice if she wants to press charges against him. I, personally, would gladly put him in jail so he can die in there.

My ex-husband raped me, too, though he was my husband at the time. He was drunk and said it was my "wifely duty" to have sex with him whenever he wanted even if it was just a few weeks after our daughter was born. Now he's an impotent douchebag that's married to a compulsive cheater.

Justice.

No, not really, but it's too late to press charges against him for rape and my mother and stepfather backed him then anyways, saying I had to do what he said, so no way would I be able to get real justice for him.

But, it's better than him living a good and happy life now!



Confessions.... I am really fucking happy this morning and I honestly don't know why. Oh wait, I do know why! Yep yep, I'll just keep on smiling!

I sometimes hate not knowing what's going to go on in the few hours that are to come.

I need to lift more weights this year.

Sunspots wrote:

I don't have anything to do with them. I don't really remember things but my sister does. It's her choice if she wants to press charges against him. I, personally, would gladly put him in jail so he can die in there. My ex-husband raped me, too, though he was my husband at the time. He was drunk and said it was my "wifely duty" to have sex with him whenever he wanted even if it was just a few weeks after our daughter was born. Now he's an impotent douchebag that's married to a compulsive cheater.

Yeah that would be the way to go if she came forward, if not then nothing can be done. oh well, jail would be a good thing though.

my ex husband was a douche and turned out to be gay or so I'm told, because he went into 2 relationships with men after we were done and then 2 (really homely/manly looking) women... *shrugs*
Karma goes a long way indeed!

confession..hmm..

I hate not being able to speak openly about certain things. Not because of fear of what others will say or react and that. But because I feel that if I tell, it will be out there and I can't take it back to hide..

I almost quit smoking today. With a special girl in my life it just didn't make sense to smoke, but then if my paintings don't make enough money to retire then I can't marry her. So then if I can't get with her, then I Might as well smoke, it was nice sleeping all night, stopping smoking and caring about myself. I never had a reason to care about myself before. It was like a brand new day.

One of my cousins asked why I don't have kids. I told her because I don't want my family trying to convince me to raise the kid with Catholic beliefs.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yes. I want more.

Arak_Drakoniz wrote:

One of my cousins asked why I don't have kids. I told her because I don't want my family trying to convince me to raise the kid with Catholic beliefs.

That is why I put my kids in public school system and we don't go to church services or the like..
yes my kids are baptised but only as a favour to my mother because her brother (my uncle) is a Deacon in the church and he was the one to baptise them. But that is as far as I'm going with that. If my kids feel the need to continue in the catholic system and do the other sacraments (communion, confession, confirmation, etc..) once they are old enough and understand what they are going into.
I had no choice in the matter and if I did have the choice, I would not have done any of it. Yes I took the choice of baptism away from my kids and made that decision myself, but from this point on it's all going to be up my kids.


So more or less i think I understand where you're coming from.

love_broken_soul wrote:

Arak_Drakoniz wrote: One of my cousins asked why I don't have kids. I told her because I don't want my family trying to convince me to raise the kid with Catholic beliefs. That is why I put my kids in public school system and we don't go to church services or the like.. yes my kids are baptised but only as a favour to my mother because her brother (my uncle) is a Deacon in the church and he was the one to baptise them. But that is as far as I'm going with that. If my kids feel the need to continue in the catholic system and do the other sacraments (communion, confession, confirmation, etc..) once they are old enough and understand what they are going into. I had no choice in the matter and if I did have the choice, I would not have done any of it. Yes I took the choice of baptism away from my kids and made that decision myself, but from this point on it's all going to be up my kids. So more or less i think I understand where you're coming from.

Pretty much. To me baptizing a child is the first step to stripping them of their freedom of religion.