"lately I've been writing kinda like this one, but not, it's here and there. just not one place"

Walking the children forth, brings forth the light.
Everything maddening, despelling the christian god,
The blood of christ will stain the ground, the soil.
Beheaded angels fall left and right,
hold high, the mighty sword, at night
but soon the bitterness of distaste, will be the end!

Cast forth from the minestry, you will soon be dead.
Close your eyes, little christian child, for it is the end.

Poisoning everything, and the fall of jesus has come,
so shortly after, the fall of god!
Tell me what the hell to believe.
Nothing anymore, because it's all shit.

Open your mind, dear child of light,
And come to me through dream
like a silhouette masquarading in tears,
True beauty shown to me,
her attention, it turned to me, it burned me so,
New flesh scars into my mind.
she is shown to me through decaying hearts,
but the heart still beats, in silky rains of silence
I lament no more, from feeble scorn, desicrated way
brought by my mind locked in the grave,
and through her final attonement, she bled for me.

*t.d./d.s. is abbreviation for through defiler, damnation's scorn which was a poem that when I wrote it, it was one of my favourites that I'd written.*


Welcome, bitter victims of light.
you are all what I despise,
Ressurrection, lie through the coming!
Come bear your soul. your mind adheres.
cover your ears, child, lest you should hear,
Screams in the night, Screams of fear!
I am nothing, but I'm looking at you through the other side of the mirror.
can you tell me there is another way now through the emptiness? there's nothing. for it's all unseen.
Blood trickles at dawn, soul's demise!
sound of silence, but it's you who dies!
You've lost your creed, but the thunder echos on!
Journey through this world, until you cannot see, until you're blind.

*this one started off as a lyric for a friend's band, me and the person aren't friends anymore, but that's fine too. this one was alright, no the best out of all of the 8 that I'd written for that band, but I'm not letting them use these anymore, they're part of my book now."

Look into my eyes, see the story of your demise,.
despised, but you are what partially created me,
but you can't destroy me, because I'm already dead inside,
I am forever the all-knowing hatred.

Failure again and again,
there is something else that you do not see.
I am the ugliness that you despise,
I am satan in your eyes.

Hatred again as I close my eyes,
see again what I despise,
Scars of suicide, smoke of hatred.
Take from me, more abuse of my frustrations.

On again, but it's something you will never see.
I am this way again, so fucking breathe.
Futile hatred of the dispostion,
Isolation of my own inspirations.

I can't see anymore, but I"m not blind,
Contradictions brought me demise,
I can't take this shit anymore,
But I will snap after you leave me!

Bring forth insanity of my decay.
Innocence of a long time fade, but it's gone away.
Screams of my lunacy, dropping it from me.
but it repeats again, just for you.

*this one proves that I abosolutely fucking hate people trying to force their god on me, when personally I could give two shits about god or anything like that.*

It may sound like insanity but it's the way you die!
Through a depravity, just like bitter suicide.
Righteous hate the love in the way though imaginable.
Conforming to the liars of god!

Despite the word of suicide.
I am alone, stabbing me and my bleeding pride.
Producing the hatred, the fear still locked inside,
but I constantly promise myself that I will soon be dead.

the death that passed it's due,
the further pain that ensues,
denied ever strong,
A force that leads me to the heart of nowhere.

Through forgiveness,
the martyr that dies in the name of the fallen ones,
in the faith broken, the earth comes to a crumbling end.
the presistant insanity forever rose forth.
we do it again.

Pandimonium bleeds and leads death to the inside.
we breathed the air from the dead world.
transversing, demonizing, tantalize!
I decapitated Jesus Christ, where was his non-existant father?
defiled and raped and sodomized,.
the whore virgin mary.
I am the sick, born of the brooding,
denial of love, I am evil.
unto the darkness, urges from satan come and rise again!

*this one there were no changes to at all, this was the way it was written, but I'm glad because it's still one of my favourites and one I still read at poetry readings.*

...And so the deities brought forth decay.
and with the lunacy, screams out in pain.
denial of the sickest wishes,
defiled, the bastard innocent sisters.
and alone I broke, my spirits died as I unawoke.
ashes of the simply exiled.
stories unfold as though something untold,
Denied, the bitter angels cried.
My big betrayal, found inside,
I turn to you to tell you I love you, it's just a lie.
Alive inside, trickles of blood shows signs of my suicide.
False miseries given of hate,
Looking now it's your new fate.
Look around you, the world has died,
and it's shows signs that you're too late.

*this one was written around mother's day, when my mom kicked me out, and I had to sleep on the streets, and I remember I showed my mom this poem, as I walked in on mothers day with all of my shit in garbage bags and boxes and I'm glad I only gave her a copy of it to show her, look, you made my life so far something that no one should be asked to fucking deal with, but you know what. the out come of what you were trying to achieve fucked up somewhere and I came out as rebellious as ever and as hateful as ever, don't ever fucking question why I hate you when you're the reason why I hate you. because I honestly have no respect for whores.*

you sit there lying to me, you fucker.
you made your plans to hurt me, inside.
but still there is nothing between us anymore,
look at me again, I've died.

Cruelty wrapped her putrid wings round the lives of mankind,
sickening me to the point of ecstacy.
Futile hatred, suck the life from me.
Run away from, I can taste you on my lips
and your scent in the air, it's fucking everywhere.
silence now, as it all surrounds.
and it's you who takes the fall!

I am hatred! Look me in the eye! Wretch the though!
Denial of the dream! But nothing is what it seems!

Walk with me, the end is near.
I've just begun. I've held it back for far too long.
Sick of the wait, I destroyed you of my hate, because of your defiled faith.

Blood is the cost for the insanity of the greatness that I have reached!
but kill the pain, because fame isn't anything!
You suffer for the nothing that I last gave you.
Look at my face you will only see a hateful confusion.
Illuminating the crypt with the spirit world,
Execution, full of hatred, the sickness made it that much more twisted.
liberation, there maybe another way... to die!!!

*this one I wrote to piss of teachers and important people at schools, and the original poem was written on the back of a t-shirt, that was used for gym, and is on sale for $20 on my own personal website. it's a reversable colours of the shirt are yellow and green. the only thing is the poem is different on the shirt and was originally written for a sampler that I was supposed to release last year but I postponed it for this year.*

I am the denial of unforgetable madness,
Exile, only through what we see as sadness,
Blasphemer, the beginning as defiled as the end.
But I am not alone, you are in this hell with me.
look me in the eyes, but maybe there's nothing really left!
so scream of your hatred, my friend, for this is the end.
I was driven of my nature, by my fate.
Just like the succubus, you invaded my dreams,
but you left in tears. Skin with decay, flittred with shreds.
She brings forth the pain, I endured when you saw me again.
Take from me what it is you see, left here alone, left here to be,
for nothing more, but in her sweet grace of death,
her words fading forever were nevermore.
but through not the raven, but mere shadows,
she embrace me, so cold, as I.
locked inside, together we died, for the lunacy.
There's not much left here to fade away in her eyes.

"I think most of you can get the point of this half way through it. that is if you aren't too dumb to figure it out. for those of you who don't get it leave a comment. and I'll personally send you a messege explaining what it's meaning is."

Hallowed dreams, like the sickness of a dying dream.
Through being alone, there's nothing more than hate to console my pain.
Worship false idols, but another reason I've come,
forth from the shadows. I've lost my mind!

Can you bring me forth through this pain that I feel?

I wake up bleeding with new scars on my body,
and once again, I find myself alone.
through suicide, I've seen the truth,
you hated me, while I loved you.

The rain is cold, and the dreams still flow.
but my mind went all deranged.
I awoke in a field ablaze, with no hope, of escape.
Simply put, that I died.

Can you forgive me and later on forget me?

The scars are there to remind me,
but only your face is there to guide me.
and your voice, makes tomorrow crumble.
and the way you looked at me, makes me feel like nothing.

There is no god!!! There's nothing out there anymore.
Depressing thoughts of another dying for the cause of me.
but I'm not worth dying for!!!

Give me my life back... YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!

I wake up bleeding with new scars on my body,
and once again, I find myself alone.
Through suicide, I've seen the truth,
you hated me and I hate you!!!
Fuck you!!!

*seeing as how I have tried committing suicide I don't know how many times anymore, appearently I never worked, because I'm still here, and if you're reading this you're probably wondering what I"m getting at. I wrote this poem as a dedication to my deceased grandfather, the only family member from my dad's family that gave a shit about me. I lost him to cancer when I was 2, people question why I smoke, because I know one day we all will die, what's wrong with trying to speed the process a bit, *not to sound so depressing* but I stopped trying to kill myself the fast way, just bring it about slowly. when I read this poem for poetry readings at coffee shops and book stores, this one is the hardest six lines to read, not because of anything that I wrote in it, just because I know that the one I dedicated to is the only one that did ever really give a shit about me in that family and no matter what his spirit still watches over me, but just it kinda attacks me even though I was never able to say hi or bye to him. this one isn't new anymore, it's kinda older it was written a couple of years ago*


As I walk down the shadowy mile.
Sentenced a hell-bound exile from heaven above,
Smile apon my damnation, I will rise from my downfall,
Fallen angel, I prey to you, give me life once again,
I've fallen in combat in this bitter war.
And alone I wander furthermore.