Um....

Mob Rules is a Black Sabbath album. Mobs take down individualism. Mobs are stupid. Mobs live in fear. Weak people join gangs. Democracy therefore is against individual expression. People don't know what is good for them. What is good for the people is the illusion of democracy, ie voting, and a totalitarian government that even has the cujones to manifest other peoples governments rights to rule themselves, in the guise of the fake democracy, that, in this country, USA, elected Gore, then had a judge say, no let us not count the votes of a Democrat constituency County, for if they did, then Gore would have won. So..... Democracy is an illusion of inclusion in the government. We need strong totalitarian government with the President that is a part of a secret society, to breed a clown headed ignoramus that has to have a handler to move him from place to place, and who needs a committee to form an opinion. Kennedy, the only non Masonic President withoout Blue Blood status going back to the Union Jack, the USA remains to this day to exist as a banana republic, doing in accordance with secret societies that know about shit that they don't let us know.

Which is point of fact why they give us the All Star Baseball weekend like voting cards to punch out chads and feel integral in the governing process, when in reality, we just don't know enough to have the privaledge to place anyone at the head of a government, when we all know we need someone at the top that doesn't make us feel bad about ourselves.

Imagine having a president that actually was cool, could lead a country without having a committee around to formulate new dictates. We need clown at the top that can read off of telestrators, and choke on pretzels, fall off bicycles. No one would ever think of shooting such a weak man that couldn't even sire a son, and his wife had to genetically clone her own seed to replicate a Bush, and thus the twins. The man has no balls, and no brains. All the Presidents have been like this. Clinton shines only due to relative comparison.

Policy has had hidden agendas since the beginning of the formation of this country, and this is not conspiracy theory at all. This is knowing human nature of the population of the USA, and controling them on a high order of puppettry. Why they already have you convinced of how wrong I am.

The SYSTEM, is of what you speak, Mr Verbal, is something that will pad my wallet per aeternum, and I will continue to not to work, as I have been retired since 1994, and I will speak out and lose friends who are in fear of having their freedoms revoked from their lives. Freedoms?

Do you know why people are missing in the Bermuda triangle. It is a ponzi scheme where you work for someone far away in a hammock, and you send them the check, balance their books, and you never see their face. Good oh wow you rose to manager, and you never tell the help about the chain of command being "missing in Bermuda".

I suggest you all get amputations and find a hammock somewhere and live like I do not raising a finger to pad anyone elses wallet and find a way to be not a cog in someone elses machine, and really grant yourself some real freedom instead of being modern slaves.

If you all want some idea of how to really make it in life, then someone please open a topic about it and I will teach you all I know about self actualization, and re-self actualization, and something called PLan D or PLan E.

Wake the fuck up and stop defending a sytem that has been constructed to bleed you dry and make you live in fear by setting up morality by hanging us with fake laws like marajuana is bad for you. Jamaica is going to save this fucken planet with their locks that so many people DREAD, because there is the real riches, in the locks of hair that can resuscitate this dead planet, that is operating in a world clique of organized looting of our ancestral tombs.

Where are you from, and your ancestors?

St Louis

My god where before that?

I don't know.

HAh HAh

are you hungry?

Yes

Do you know how to cook?

No

Lets order out since we don't know how to cook.

Shit I gotta get a job to have a phone to order out food I don't know how to prepare. Oh man if I didn't have a phone then the woman I love would actually have a reason for not calling me. Phones just irritate the fuck out of us, we don't even call our moms, shit, we ignored them growing up when they cooked we ate the great food from what ever freaken country they were from, but I certainy didn't learn anything from my parents, I have been programmed by the television to try to understand all the jokes in the commercials, because I feel so smart when I understand the game.

This is not life, and please don't try to defend it again, it is plain ridiculous Verbal. And you know what is funny man, you just joined up, and your profile probably has more hits than mine. Is ignorance bliss? Seems so, because the writing is on the wall and they have got you playing the work for someone rich game going out to buy sponges to delete profiles of people who are letting you know your idea of happiness is not your own.

I don't know anymore. I just saw Repulsion with Catherine Deneuve, done by Roman POlanski.

In the beginning her eyes don't blink and you know she was formed by god, one of us done right, made careful, and then she was raped when she was young, and it comes clear through the movie thaqt that is what it is.

But we don't know this in the beginning. We see her being romanced by a sharp Englishman, where she has run from Brussels to get a way from family which has painted her red door black, and she is "a virgin". I watch her with all my goose pimples, in joy like tha woman I watched when I was in love, to have that vision revoked and then to see this perfection intimately like the camera is not there. To feel a sensual attraction for the girl, to just be in wonder as she walked the streets, to almosy not want to blink, and then her life starts to fall apart, her sister goes on a trip, and she just can't make it on her own. Thhis big 1960's blonde big hair woman living in utmist fear, hating men, and hearing all the horror stories from the girls in her life, how men treat women wrong. And she kills two men, one who tries to save her and then the landlord who tries to make some moves on her. But she is a canidate for electroshock therapy, and yet when you look at her she is beyond perfect, you've heard the name, and now you see the face, and she plays the part so well, almost unconcious thtrough it, and then I just feel so sad, because we all have come from rape, or molestation, and this is the result, perfect specimens that have no place in life. I am not talking about the metaphor of the gene machine for evolution, destroying perfect men to make them super human sperm donors, no, I did feel that. I mean Tamara and I embraced each other because everyone in our lives men women, wanted to have sex with us, and we just reached out for each other to get that sexual healing Marvin Gaye talked about, and it was so innocent, because life is not about sex, not for me, and not for her.

I know the one demon, the demon of raping kids that throws the whole rest of the world out of whack, I know how protected I was from all of this and how life the parade that it is, it all gets revealed, and you are like, oh so that is why I am not allowed to live because someone didn't touch her right. And then I become this nothing that can dance better than the devil, and yet not one woman ever tried to come and dance with me, as I am in bondage to my own body.

Tamara said she was asexual, me, I have had to be, and...

good and evil?

Well, because of evil there is no good. I can attest to that. Tamara and I simply were not were. We were loving on a god level. I never made love to her, life had to be about soul love, and then there was no consummation. Yes we were requited, for sure, even though she never gave me her body to be mine.

So life is not anyway shape or form the way it could be or should be. And you have people that everyone wants to be, and to tell you the truth it is far better to be average and to have, than to be a sex symbol and reside in a gilded cage.

And now I am to be reborn, the money I am to make, and I have one woman, and I am supposed to know what the fuck to do with her in heaven? All I know is hell, my tastes reflect that, but, on another level I do do good, and I know that song by heart and when I sing it I don't have to breathe, because I have been holding my breath all my life hoping life would arrive

even though there is no reason to expect this heaven from waking up from out of these duldrums.

If I am the American dream, it has been more of nerve endings afraid to feel, in fear of being touched inappropriately, and trying to hav emore scars on my fists than on my face.

I have every reason to be hopeful and have prospects, and yet, I was like really sad the other day, for a couple of days, really like not wanting any of it. I needed that cigarette to bring me to life, and it did. I am not going to shock you, I am not going to rewrite amazing shit to knock you out and floor ya. I know what I have felt, I have felt tenfold what I have writ to make me value the things I have observed, and man, evil just makes life space and emptiness, it is no wonder, the ills of society make us estranged and aliens in the form of the word that I know it to be.

We all come from better places and are marooned in some fuct reality, where even a Prince like me with prospects has no desire to fake any part in life I am to play. When I meet a girl I want to be with, to love a woman for her quirks, to try to heal her with myself, to suck all the evil out of her, making me good, shit, maybe it can work, and I need her to be fixed, I need her to be broke, I need to use my ingenuity to make her believe in herself in life and me to do it together, bring life into this world as it should be.

Democracy has the root word Demo or Demos which means MOB.

This is not a pleasant word. You Goth chicks know all about how people of unusual abilities are always caste out and made to feel like Pariahs. Therefore I don't like Democracy, I don't like the Philosophers that came up with the term, and in my country it is a total waste of time to vote as they don't even count your votes Nationwide, your votes can garner State Electoral college votes, and then therefore by defintition of the way government functions in the West, the great bastion of Democracy is a farce.

Liberalism is only a word to have everything under it's umbrella tjherefore the word means nothing. If you have orthodox ideas, or conservative ideas, and everyting juxtaposed to these traditional schools of thought are called liberal, which means, liberal means, that you think for yourself, or you are one of the people who do not rely on the status quo to keep nippling their cash cows. The anarchists who do not have trademarks, copyrights, et cetera, the anarchists are the liberals who think and belkieve life can go another way, but they are outsiders like the Gores of the world who win your votes, and even enough of the electoral college state votes and then loose elections because he was not a member of the Skull secret society.

The peace of mind of the sky rights in our lives sanctuarys is an illusion. As long as we play their game they constructed, and they make us do the things we don't even want to do in the forst place by telling us not to do it, whose life are we leading when at later and latter stages of life we find ourselves in dead end jobs, making enough money to practice the only religions that we know to break the moral laws just above where we would actually do time if the government made us stoop one level lower.

Um, vampirism leads to red hair progeny. If you have red hair, you should have coitus with a dark haired boy girl, that would make you have kids, do not go for the quick easy blonde boy,as blondes are even more pigmentally challenged than red heads.

The thing that is so hot about black haired girls is the luster of their hair, and it is the opposite genetics to vampirism, and people who have been going for black hair through time know that they are covering vampirism. And though, the hair may for a roof, the brains come from the other mate that forms the child. So the black hair is a cover up and the brains under black haired peoples skullbones is vampire type thinkers and emotionally vampiric peoples.

The onloy bad thing about the black hair is that if you lose your hair it looks quite bad.

Blondes have more fun because even when the grrey hairs come, which blondes don't get grey hairs, is as what I am told, not that I ever noticed, blondes can lose alot of hair and still look good because there are no gaps. IN fact the blonde can lose so much hair he/she even begins to enjoy losing the hair and gets off on doing things that is going ot make his/her hair fall out, and when hair dies it turns into coils or kinky, which is why kinky people have less hair, because they are masochistic hairdressers from hell.

Red hair though is a lotto ball of genetics that perculated up from out of the past when an especially bad vampire enjoyed being kinky and turned his kids hair red. But vampires are powerful creatures and they go through this evolutionary refinement process, and this was why in the courts of Europe during the 1500-1700's red haired females were lusted after by kings and the high royal courts. Red haired girls are supernatural hotties. There is no association with red hair having any benefit with men. You are just screwed. They also say that red haired peoples have less follicles.

No, let me tell you what this topic is about. There are no aliens from other planets reaching us, that is a mathematical astronomical improbablility, and why the fuck would they come here? Are we that solopsistic?

Wormholes aside, it is impossible for Battlestar Galactica situations to occur. Yes there have been meteorites that have scraped off debris from Mars and they have found one in particular which landed in either the North or South pole, I think it was the the South Pole as you can't find shit near Santa becAUSE OF JACK FROST.

Crop circles ?

It is the year of the golden pig.

It seems, for those interested in where shit comes from.... that I have got some crop circles on my head, it forms like a crown on my head, and it looks quite good actually. The crop circles are just farmers who know the deal whom promulgate false stories of aliens.

Women as you will see in your lifetime possess a Y chromosome that creates a male from ancient times which goes along with Ressurection theory from the Chinese, and the year of the Goat, which was the year I was born.

I can only speak about my paqrtivcular case. What I know about myself is that I am a goat and I have a goatee, and my father has a full beard like my brother.

I do have a n image of a skeleteon's face on hte left side of my left cheek from the beard hair. Mt brother is from my fathers male line and i am from along time ago. Whereas, the decrepid people's of the near future populate the earth, sometimes like the year of the goat 1967, there is born a Y chromosome ffmeal male line from out of the past, the world puts people like this through a process that maximizes their genetics to resuscitate the evolutionary populaqtion sample.

I am not writing this because I am special and I am trying to hook up with some cute goth chick, I am educating you with the knly knowledge that I have. My mother said never talk about yourself, OK then lets talk about you. I don't know shit about you.

So anyways, now after the ressurection process whereas I have to be initiated and go through a process that made my body auto immune, the body does not recognize other body parts of your own and it attacks itself.

That is what all this alien talk is about people. There are no aliens, that can get here. Anyone discussing the possibility of such are ignoramuses who haven't tried to walk to even the next town in the country, or the next state.

It is freaken impossible for aliens to get here. Our creation happened in this solar system. I will defer that it is possible that bacteria that lives on the planet of mars a billion years ago cxame here, I mean look at the moon at all the craters, and we know that the Sun is cooling down, and one time Mars would have had a dew point and fluids on that planet. Now it is a desert.

And no I am not a god, yes I was ressurected, reborn, freincarnated, but it is old hat, and it is a subplot that sometime when you go to your Ivy league schools and you rise in power like an Icon or deal with Icons, you will see, that Angels from ancient times are born, turned into aliens, and then reintroduced into society to be Icons, such as myself in a short time.

I have resisted being someone but they only give power to the ones who don't want it. Ambition will get you no where. Alphamales will always kill themselves to save someone else, they just are so dissatistified with the prospects of this existence, maybe just maybe, if us alpha males give up our lives, someone may enjoy life, for we certainly can't or aren't allowed to. Women will only want me when I have a wedding ring on my finger. Taboo is what rules us, now all I do is get a wedding ring and then I will find a girl.

Hey, I was worried that while I was in the mental ward and my hotmail was erased again, that you wrote over there and I missed your response.

I don't know about life anymore to give advice anymore, for life is weird now,

fucken symbolism gets so deep and it engages the fabric of my entire past with a godfather that starts the trip and ends the trip, and he doesn't even ever say a word to me this man.

No man who ever cared about his life ever threw it away.

He taught me the secret to destroy myself, the first brick the tip of the pyramid, and when I wanted to own the Bowery I made the transition.

I have been in the bowels of the Intrepid air carrier with him on a photo shoot, and tonight, I went into the task of fucking myself up with gusto because he sent the signal to me along time ago. My future, my career, my destiny, my purpose on this planet was coerced out of me. No man that wants to be something like me could ever make it on desire. Desire has nothing to do with it. We do what we can and no more. In fact last night, after I was so carefully put together after ten years in hell, and then seasons lying on my back, and then I just broke free again and I took this man and I tried to destroy it just because I don't want anything. I don't even want what is coming to me, and then I went with my desire for me as an animal being, again later in the day, with little assistence I willfully destructed my body again in spite of every fucking little sign in my life to make me, and then I paid the price, I was walking wounded when I saw you with your girl, I couldn't even raise my left hand to wave, my heart was done, and then, again, when the godfather sign came and the Yankee game was over, I willed my being to face death through sex again, because my brother fufilled a premonition that had been hinting at me all day, and I went with my intuition, and I didn't put my ear to the radio waves, I chose oblivion for the third time, when prudence would have laid down, instead I attacked my heart and when the train horn came after it was all over, the architecture of the neighborhood called me outside and I saw lightning in a cloudless sky twice, and I knew I was Thor. I smoked a cigarette righty and lefty to anchor the experience when anyone else would have laid down and died, and I faced east and stared at the skyline and my iris opened and closed and opened and closed to the maximum, and all the lights integrated, all the colors, and this whole charade made my bloodline real, which is why life is fake, and hell hellps. I walked by a bench with peacocks on the back of it in caste iron and I remembered my mother telling me about some sect that worshipped peacocks, and I disrobed an pressed my naked back into the peacocks and it made a shiver that brought back the one thing that was missing, that I was a flower fat with rain and then the dew descended and dropped a petal to the naked grass that couldn't take anymore moisture, and i was that flower that Kerouak stared at reaching enlightenment in Dharma Bums. I was an organism cocky and yet all the way through deceived betrayed, but loving beguiling trusting this time around because I was lead by the nose all the way back from an early grave so many would have sunk into, but not me because life wants me one more day, and i will rise for it, like blood that likes boiling and knows no other way.

Beautyrock Records wrote:

Coach-

I have been chewing on this for quite some time. I really appreciate your critique.

The CD wears a lot of cologne, indeed. Way too much. On purpose. Major themes are self-obsession and trying way too hard. A lot of it is tounge-in-cheek, designed to break down inhibitions and allow us to laugh at ourselves.

That being said, I agree with pretty much everything you said. Very cool insights.

Pete

David Vaccaro wrote:

Very great guitar, you do have a smooth voice, musical as always on the street but it is syrupy on the CD. I think the voice can even be improved with a tweaking of an equalizer. I don't think you are aware of the harmonics of your voice.

The desert island thing was pure poetry, I was thinking about compying the lyrics and putting it on like my date site profile, that is what it is like, especially the ones that investigate the deserted cities of the heart.

The cockiness I guess has to be done, but you gotta a girlfriend, so, I don't think you have to put yourself out there as a sex symbol, but i know you, you got moves on the court, in fact you were pretty unstoppable, you had to be defended. So you got some transference of ability through the expression of manhood spectrum.

I am impressed. I always liked you man, but at times your cologne was too strong on the CD, if you know what I mean, because, man as cool as you are, you ain't Barry White. Just the pure musical abilty you have alone should be the driving force, I think the thing about machismo is that it needs no cologne. You have all the ability in the world, but the musci buisness liek I wsa describing you on that day is more complicated than it appears. The twisted metaphor for the anti-demonization of mankind is something only the ones who make it understand the rules of. Actually I was thinking about writing a poem about the music lyric rules, these past two days, I might as well, while I have the whole rule structure in my head.

Dave Vaccaro

Um, well, the susopension is over, I will go baack to Vampire Rave, if I still have a mind, and the time to share what I had on a butiful future for me or life in general, but the gam of life is so deep because it is so shallow, and therefore a script has to be created for us to all get a long. I dunno, I belived in love, I really did, and now it seems Tamara only wanted to have my baby and not be with me. When the vampire plot ends, I am not sure what is reality anymore, it seems there is no way to die, no way to fail, and no one would dare kill me because it seems the human race has died and they need me for some biological reason.

I walked up to Yankee stadium today from Bronx Science, and I closed the third eye successfully and made it rain twice in the Bronx and one time in Queens. I walked down the middle of the road all day, between the double yellow, and the cops looked the other way, aparently people seem to want to know what I am doing. So anyways, after I prayed to the Gods east west and south and North, mecca style, I got the paramecium out of my eyes, did the caliper trick for healing of all the body parts, and then as I was praying to Mecca, I was over a subway grill designed for me to be infected with the subway virus that has been sweeping america. So I got up and the atomic symbol in my eyes was quickly invaded by a plethora of organisms seemingly from another planet, giving people rot gut of different kinds. I feel high in a good giddy way, and will be made into a pliable husband. But I have been having to do all this play acting, to try to make girls, they took the last straight man on the planet and made him confused. I hope it goes away. My mind has been elsewhere, a better place, other than games, but I really wanted my daughters to be straight, and i don't know what is up and down.

Anyways as I fell around Manhattan I was helped by people and chased like I am the one who was supposed to rise, the one rising, and I don't like it, some guy even gave me a fat lip on 42nd street, just so my girls would have bee stung lips.

Yes I work on cars, and I built a bar oon Spring street from the ground up in SOHO, where I donated my DJ system to because I was retiring from the spot light.

Then I went over to Bronx Science and a crowd gathered and put me on U-tube. Why design a game to make me ascend? I was fine before, now I am some sex slave who can take control because I have money. What about love? Now I get my cig and then I prepare for the train ride to the Georgia O'keeffe exhibition where I am sure it is already been decided whom my wife to be is. I can role play, I can do anything.

So anyways, closing the anal sphincter, the solar plexus, sealing the mouth, closing the third eye Chakra, and the soul in the hole at the crown of the pate, took some work, it was very difficult to do, but I had been taught the rules, so I did it on my knees summoning rain, and gesticulating with my hands, and pretty much people were fascinated not by my presence, but over joyous I was going to make children. They want my blood. Where is the sperm bank, this turkey is done.

And so every time I would geert to closeing the third or fourth window of the soul kettle, and I got the paramecium out of my eye, then it came back, and then when I leaned over the sewer, I prolly got all of the bugs in my eyes, in which case they lived short times, and then after aa while my immune system got real smart and killed of these stupid little alien bugs passed through breath, and when I was found lying on the ground outside the Church of Incarnation I told the group that I had come up with the serum to cure the shit and save mankind. Maybe I am the Messiah, I don't care, I am just a super hero who wants one woman and one mistress, and keep these dumb secrets in the family, while solving the problem of mankinds weak white blood cells, through my devopment of the fatty acid shwaan cell cure of blood doping. YOu will all be innoculated from my blood, and then you get the stud semen shot for your hysterical wombs. My children will be better than me.

Anyways I am not to thrilled at the development of my life or this thread, and if you have no more questions, I would like to get my mind back at VF, and try to forget about this dumb life plot to make me the authority on shit, and how to health this and that, I just don't know where to draw the line, I mean, what of life isn't fake? It seems like I am the only thing real. Or was. It was better when I was dead.

um, well, if he can come to peace with himself, instead of having the pressure of having to please gods eyes, then maybe he can function without the conscience of god. I know that I have had to be on my best behavior lately because whatever I do my kids will do while i am still in the rebirth process, and so no drinking no coffee, no cigs, no sex, no looking at women, all of it, I have to be a saint, but a saint in jail. Anyways, this is why I can commiserate with his pressure. The point of life is to find what brings you happiness and to do it, and not feel bad about our animals, because we are really only pleasure beings, that is all that is allowed really, if you have a brain they get rid of you so you might as well have fun. Deny ourselves pleasure doesn't make us higher beings, it goes against the directives of the higher power to procreate. Procreation is done through sex, and I know you got your demons, and so you like to be pure, but eventually kink is kink and fetish is fetish, and we will all explode and do what we wnat when we want. I know I am sitting on a powder keg of dynamite sexuality. Your ex's abuse of you may have been this powder keg thing, and what ever is repressed has to be expressed. kristen there are no good men, they are all evil, look at me, all I am is a good evil, which is rare, but at least your man was trying, he just didn't follow god's directive and give you a kid and that is why he failed you and him and god. You know it is true. I don't care what about your slight momness from your artistic mother, I don't care that the human race there is somethijng wrong with everyone, I just fucked up really bad in bed doing the Jesus spell, and so I don't know if my kids are going to be restless, I am really trying, we can only do our best.


What you didn't like my pool fight story? Yeah I am living with my father, might be going to New Mexico soon in May. I am fine, but I would like to be perfect, it is funny, now I got the ostrich feather over my head going the other way, as in the Egyptian mythology for signaling women I am ready to make kids. You know i really liked my hair, they fucked with me a little too much. I can still make boys, but i pretty much have to sit on eggs this weekend.

Don't let any man be abusive to you physically or even worse psychologically. There is no excuse for men being stronger picking on women. I might not even know what to do with a woman when I do nail one to my cross, I mean one time, Tamara and I were like on a date, like she was my woman, and I met these guys in the street, and I said hey man I got the most amazing woman inside, do you want to meet her.

His name was Fast, so I hooked up Fast with Tamara right at the bar and I stood a stool or two away from their conversation, of course I was so sure she loved me I could let other guys talk to her, it was stupid, like she was a car I was going to let a friend test drive....

I mean, if I am so smart and talented, and I don't know how to play the POker game, I mean, what about other guys? They don't deal from positions of power, so they heartlessly dominate and try to keep girls under their thumbs, and that is not love, that is fear. I am fine, I will make 4 boys before it is all said and done, and they will be pros in whatever they decide to do, they get all that I refused, maybe they too will be stupid talented men that are happy just looking at a cake in the window.

I don't have a printer honey, but I have been doing leg lifts in bed alla Pilates whom was mentioned by Jesus side in MARK III. The Pill comes late, and that is why he is called Pilates. PILLate.

Anyways, Kristen, you get a girl of mine named after you, thanks for trying to help me have kids. I walked by Casanova restaurant today in Brooklyn and thought of you (CASA NOVA house of nine), went to a pool hall, as soon as I pull in, well actually I walked across the bridge into Brooklyn from Queens, and while I was on the bridge, 13 cop cars drove by, the first one was black and they were lights on bookin. It was cool. Then there was 4 MTA subway clean up cars driving together telling me to take the subway back, they knew I was coming. And then something really weird happened. I had pretty much admitted on the internet that I had gone to this particular pool hall in booty shorts under my jeans, had gone up to the biggest POlish ganster of the 50 members of the gang and started sscreaming at him for beating up my friends, and putting them into the hospital. I had a pool stick in my hands a 21 ouncer, and I began to get surrounded, and then the other members of the gang that I had taught the secrets of life to came around and they said, hey that is Coach, you back in town? And it broke up, promising to leave my friends alone whom I had also schooled to be patriarchs. I said look I didn't teach you all the secrets of life to shit down other peoples throats.

I did have one guy with me but he had been hit by a car when he was 8 and he couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. I had been missing a year upstate NY where I met you when I met you, and when I came back to town my friends had been beat up in short order. So I went there, much to my chagrin their pack had grown in numbers tremendously. So, I was really screwed but I was hoping on the Karma thing.

Anyways so I walk into the pool hall tonight, and there is a SOuth Park episode where the gang is surrounded by a pack of gang members, and one of the gang members says to CARTMAN, hey, aren't you CARTMAN, the guy that beat up 30 gang members on a skateboard, and CARTMAN says, what you heard about that too?

So I am there, in total disbelief. People hate me but they love me for my balls, and then I warred on the jute box with them, the pool managers, and they fuckded me up a bit, but i came out smelling like a rose playing a series of songs that put them all in their place, they don't know shit about good music, leave it to the professionals. I think the one that sealed the deal was HYPNOTIZE by AUDIO SLAVE, that bombed them back to the stone age.

And, then I was blessed again by KARMA last night, after I felt betrayed and cried inside without a sob a heave, or a tear, or a moan, I was just so pissed at the legnth of the lies to make me even less of a man, so as to put me in my place, and then "by accident" an old friend came by and he for some reason said about doing leg lifts, alla PIlates, and he asked me what about what I had been reading, to see if I knew about the heavens, and i said, Yeah God may have created everything, but god isn't that active, and Jesus, well, he left, and he hasn't done anything since he left, but Paul, I said, the Holy Ghost is the thing that saves this planet, and the Holy Ghost is everything. Take that from an agnostic.

He looked at me got out of the car and kept talking about the "leg lifts" he was doing and, I had seen earlier in the day a woman walking with her leg out to the side, and crippled, and there was a woman from the Boston Fine Arts museum, named SUSAN WARD, ward meaning invalid, and Susan is the name for a female Jesus. So a female Jesus in a wheel chair?

Then just know I did Pilates in bed, for when you lie down, the feet angle out, and this is how the hips get misaligned.

Paul upon leaving off, said you know I have been a fireman for 4 years now.

I said yeah I saw the shirt and the window decal, good job man I hear you are getting married, and then I said yeah, talk about the Holy Ghost, the firemen saved my ass all winter.

he gave me one more clue, and then he had to go to a poker game, whihc I declined, I never play poker, but I told him a good psychological strategy to win, unawares at the time he gave me the winning hand, when all I had was the famed dead man's hand of the cowboy in the west that was shot down where he sat and lay their in the saw dust floor leaking bad blood.

I am getting on with life. But to be human is defined as being able to mate with a human and produce offspring that can have children. I was not that. I was something else. I was not a vampire, but I was the spirit of the word. All the metaphors surrpounding the mythology of vampires holds true to that sort of existence. I was a demi-human.

Can you understand that, or is your mind gripped with fear that there is more to life than meets your eye. I know you are young, but you are from England, the English bad teeth are not from Tea, you know. I know Goth People understand certain existencies, and this is why I do not write on other websites. This is the place for talk of mine. I will eventually be kicked off of Vampirefreaks, and I will have to come somewhere to speak claivoyantly. I hope you can prepare the troops for that inevitabilty, their success dependent upon my failure. If you people cannot handle that, then that is fine too. What I am planning on doing is in one thread write a ASK VAMPARIAH thread, and I will not interrupt whatever else you got going. I cannot pretend to be 16 again, even though I was a teacher for children, and I have always been able to relate, but I know my place is not amongst you but a part of you somewhere, where your community can pick my mind.

Why don't you run a poll and see if they would be up to it. I am curious, and to be accepted somewhere is to not to be a Pariah.